Brandon Phillips' runny mouth

From Nachoman's neighbor and Cardinals fan Jason Getz, who still needs a food-related theme name.... he refers, of course, to Tuesday night's bruhaha in game two of the Reds-Cards series, the game that allowed the Cards to tie the Reds for first place:

"You know...if a player is going to run his mouth before a game, you think he'd at least have the decency to back up those comments during the game instead of starting a brawl."

Well, Yadi started it DURING the game.

Brandon Phillips shouldn't have run his mouth. Cincinnatians are on one hand thankful to have a fiery player who gives a #@$! for the first time since Pete Rose. On the other hand, the fans know that Mr. Phillips utterly deserves a good smack upside the shoulder with a fist or a fastball.

Remember, we're only two years removed from an outfield that included Adam Dunn and Ken Griffey, the "swing for the fences, strike out, and head to the clubhouse for a drink. Oh, did we lose? Sorry." duo. We love Brandon Phillips. And we haven't seen a real basebrawl since Rose vs. Pallone.

You should know that Marty Brennaman's continued theme throughout the broadcast was on the order of, "If you're gonna run your mouth like that, you'd better back it up. Look at what Molina did -- his yappin' started the brawl, but then he crushed a home run. Phillips is 1-10 in two games. Nuff said."

NM

"Why do the Bengals...

...sign so many head cases?"  writes El Molé.  "Inquiring minds want to know."

http://www.slate.com/id/2262321/ is the link he sent.  In the Slate.com article, outed Bengals fan Robert Weintraub suggests that perhaps, for the sake of argument and reducing the desire for assasination, Mike Brown is signing criminals, idiots, and losers because they are undervalued in the current NFL marketplace. 

"Huh, exploiting market inefficiencies," I told El Molé. "The hidden genius of Mike Brown."

"His master plan is to enter a third decade without a playoff win, because with the recent ascent of the Cardinals the "rooting for a shitty team" market remains underserved."

NM

Just Say No to the Bengals

So, in order to maintain my allegiance to the Bengals this year, I must root for noted malcontent and primadonna TO; noted executioner Pacman Jones; noted dumbarse Chad Ochocinco; and Mike Brown.

Even worse, the job performance of each of the above is highly overrated, and not particularly far above freely available talent.

Won't do it.

My Carson Palmer jersey will stay buried in a drawer this year.

NM

J.P Ricciardi and ESPN should be sentenced to umpire school

To ESPN:

Okay, Jim Joyce blew the call.  He owned it.  He entered the Tigers locker room, apologized to Armando Galarraga, and admitted his mistake in front of God and the sports media.*

*...who too often seem to think that these terms are redundant.

Sportscenter's highlight package of the game was well-presented and fair, both to Mr. Galarraga and to Mr. Joyce.

However, then SC brought in two buffoons for the "expert" take.  They started with a statement that Mr. Joyce's call is one of a series of blown calls unprecedented in the history of baseball.  First of all, that's what passes for journalism today?  You begin a segment with an inflamatory, prejudicial statement presented without evidence?  For shame.

Okay, then came J.P. Ricciardi's "analysis."  It would make sense to have an expert explain the mechanics of the first base umpire, to verify whether or not Mr. Joyce was in the proper position for the call.  Problem is, Mr. Ricciardi showed himself to be an ignoramus about umpiring right off the bat. 

The first rule of umpiring, one hammered into our heads at Umpire School**, one even written down in the rule book, begins (Rule 9.05):  "Keep your eye everlastingly on the ball while it is in play."  Mr. Ricciardi questioned why Mr. Joyce was watching the ball as the second baseman fielded it.  Why?  BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT A BASE UMPIRE IS TRAINED TO DO FROM THE FIRST DAY OF UMPIRE SCHOOL.

** I attended the Wendelstedt School in 2008


The proper mechanic on that play is for the first base umpire to watch the ball, and to take a couple of steps off the foul line into the field.  When the throw is made, THEN the umpire snaps his head to the base in order to make the call.  All kinds of things besides a routine play at first can happen on a grounder, and the base umpire is trained to be prepared for any of them.

Mr. Joyce was in correct position, and he followed correct mechanics.  Mr. Ricciardi contends that the call at first should be based on sound, and so implied that the call is easy.  That's true of a routine play when the first baseman is planted on the bag.  It is a much more difficult call when the pitcher covers, because the sound of the glove hitting the mitt is irrelevant - all that matters is which foot touches first, the runner's or the pitcher's.  Sure, a major league umpire needs to get that right, but I take issue with Mr. Ricciardi's inflammatory suggestion that the umpire should be able to call that with his eyes closed.

Mr. Joyce did everything right leading up to this play, but got the call wrong.  He should be held accountable for missing the call.  (That accountability should not include wikipedia death threats, obviously; but it should also not include ignorant ridicule by ESPN's talking heads.)

Mr. Ricciardi did everything WRONG leading up to his appearance on Sportscenter.  He failed to understand the correct mechanics of the play, he failed to understand the nature of the call, he failed to recognize his journalistic responsibility to keep perspective and objectivity.  For that he should be held accountable.

While I would prefer to see Mr. Ricciardi publicly humiliated for his poor judgement -- after all, he publicly humiliated Mr. Joyce -- I would be pleased to see Mr. Ricciardi sentenced to attend umpire school.  Perhaps that might cure him of his ignorance on a topic for which your network has proclaimed him "expert."

Greg Jacobs
Woodberry Forest School
Woodberry Forest, VA 22989
greg_jacobs@woodberry.org

Cubs 6, Rockies 2... conversation with Deep Dish

I worked the Cubs-Rockies game last night for STATS.  Carlos Silva vs. Jhoulys Chacin.  I've always wanted to see ESPN televise a spelling bee in which blowhard sportswriters and talking heads are given interesting sports names to spell.  How many would get Jhoulys right?  (Of course, they could come right back at me and ask me to PRONOUNCE Mr. Chacin's name.  No luck there.)

Nachoman correspondent and #1 Cubs fan Deep Dish watched a bit of the game, and maintained some correspondence with me:

NM: Working the Cubs game, and I like G. Soto's catcher's gear -- it's white and blue, and looks sharp. Looking forward to seeing this Silva guy.

DD: Soto is back this year (he had a rotten 2009) -- hitting over .300, making good contact, solid at-bats (his OBP is astronomical, like .450 or something). Be sure to watch our new rookie at short: Starlin Castro. They moved Theriot over to second to bump him up to the majors, and he's had a great 2-3 weeks. Silva is good (believe it or not, we actually got him for Bradley -- is that the best trade of all time or what?). The Cubs are living proof that giving long-term contracts to guys who are around 28-30 is a BAD long-term move. Soriano is on one of his streaks, but Ramirez, Lee, and Zambrano have been poopy (although Lee started slowly last year and ended up having one of his best years ever).

NM: Best trade of all time: Bronson Arroyo for Wily Mo Pena.  And Milton Bradley for a handful of Magic Beans would be a candidate for the best trade of the century.

I am a big fan of Mr. Silva already. He got lucky on a phantom tag on a double play that cost the Rox a run, but he's been awesome. 12 balls to 34 strikes.

DD: Wily Mo Pena:  Is this a real name or some sort of joke?

NM: Just as real as "Jhoulys." Who has not endeared himself to me, walking the leadoff guy twice in four innings.

DD:  As for Soto's catcher's outfit, I disagree with you -- he looks like a superhero. I'm too old school for white-and-blue catcher's gear...

NM: Nah, I like the hockey-style masks with the detailed artwork.

But I *hate* Rafael Betancourt. I'd like to see fire ants poured down his pants... and he can have them washed off when he's finally finished pitching an inning.

 

 

DD: Molasses. I watched an inning or two and almost fell asleep. You picked a decent game to work.

 

 

NM:  "Decent" as in "close" and, from your perspective, "the Cubs won."  Crappy in the "3:19 for 8.5 innings" sense.  And crappy in the "FSN Rocky Mountain spent an inning ignoring the game in favor of a vapid interview with Lindsay Vonn, which mainly consisted of the announcers leering and kissing her (figurative) butt."  But generally enjoyable.

 

NM

The definition of "indisputable"

Tuesday night, April 13, 2010

To:  the Atlanta Cracker

From: the Nachoman

Thanks for obtaining prizes for last weekend's physics fights.  I especially liked the hanging tomato grower!  Oh, and the umpires used a 5 minute replay review to reverse a Jay Bruce home run, even though the Reds broadcasters thought the ball was fair from their replay. (I was watching on extra-low def internet video, so I couldn't tell.) Now the game is tied at 8 in the 8th, 'cause a reliever walked a guy with a three-run lead and then gave up a tying homer.  Guh. 

To: the Nachoman

From: the Atlanta Cracker

Nice. What's the definition of "indisputable" again? Or is that word not in the MLB replay policy?

To: the Atlanta Cracker

From: the Nachoman

No idea. The MLB replay policy appears to be identical to that of the NFL, NCAA football, and NCAA basketball -- Stop the game and take 5-10 minutes to agonize over an issue that could be resolved in 30 seconds if the organization were willing to say "Can't tell, let's move on."

P.S. The Reds game went to extras, then the Reds took advantage of the Marlins reliever who gave up two walks, and would have had more than two runs but for an amazing catch on a Cabrera drive.  F. Cordero actually looked good getting the save.

Rays Haze

I just watched the video highlight of Carl Crawford's walkoff double to defeat Peter Angelos.  Sure, it's an exciting baseball play, well-called by the play-by-play man.  What ELSE do you notice?

I thought there was old-fashioned TV static on my internet video.  On further reading, I found out that a haze had settled in over the Trop, St. Petersburg's indoor stadium that is second only to old Olympic stadium for charm.  Why the haze?

During player introductions, the Rays used elaborate smokey special effects to heighten the excitment of opening day.  (Traditionalists such as the Nachoman scoff scoffingly at such gimmickry.  If a fan needs more than organ music to feel excited on opening day, than he is no fan.)

Problem is, the Trop is an indoor stadium.  INDOOR!  I've been annoyed at Reds games in an OUTDOOR stadium when the brief smoke effects after a home run drift into the crowd and reduce visibility for a half inning.  The Tampa smoke hung around until the end of the game.

I continue to wonder at how baseball manages to survive when marketing geniuses like these are in charge.  I'd rather watch Schotzie the Elephant.

NM

How far will YOU go to avoid Joe Morgan's commentary?

Okay, that was exciting... I'm listening to the Yanks-Sox in Spanish via Gameday Audio. No, I don't speak a word of Spanish, but nevertheless this is far more enjoyable than Joe Morgan. The call of Granderson's home run was especially fun (possibly because Mr. Granderson is on my fantasy team). Not that I knew what the announcer said, but he said it well.


FYI, I did the same thing for World Cup 2006. I entered the room with some (American) friends to watch the US game, and an Argentinian had the Spanish broadcast on. She offered to switch, and every one of us said, emphatically, "NO!" We all preferred to hear knowledgable, experienced, and properly trained broadcasters in a different language than random ignorant American play-by-play man who's trying his best with random-veteran-of-1994 USA team who has no ability on air but got the job anyway.

That's today's rant. Back to grading ray diagrams.

Ramon Hernandez -- Don't underestimate the value of Spanish

Last week I acquired the 2010 Baseball Prospectus, the tome that's home to the best writing and statistical analysis available in the preseason.  I'm disappointed that the authors deliberately choose not to organize their statistics in aggregate tables -- after all, the primary purpose of such statistical season previews is to assist fantasy baseball owners with their drafts.  The BP folks are banking on the fact that readers won't mind paying online for a sortable spreadsheet.  Pah, I say.  I feel like I bought a car, but the tires cost extra.

Anyway.  On to BP's commentary on the Reds. 

The Reds section includes three separate comments about the Ryan Hanigan / Ramon Hernandez combination at catcher.  BP points out, quite reasonably, that Mr. Hanigan had a slightly better year than Mr. Hernandez in 2009, Mr. Hanigan is an inexpensive player relative to the $3 million that Mr. Hernandez just signed for, and Mr. Hanigan is the younger player with a higher long-term upside.  BP criticizes Reds general Manager Walt Jocketty harshly for paying a premium for Mr. Hernandez; they mock Mr. Jocketty for his publicly stated rationale that Hernandez brings "veteran leadership." 

In the world of baseball statistics, "leadership" and other intangibles probably don't exist, and if they do, they certainly aren't worth a million dollars.

Now, Baseball Prospectus did not contact Mr. Jocketty or the Reds to discuss the Hernandez signing.  I don't know that they would have gotten a useful answer if they had attempted to obtain a comment -- baseball GMs are not known for their frank honesty when dealing with the media.  But I wonder if BP overlooked and underestimated the language issue.

As I understand it, Ramon Hernandez speaks fluent Spanish, and Ryan Hanigan does not.  (If I am mistaken here, I would love someone to correct me.  I do not have the access to find out if I'm wrong.)

Consider the Reds starting pitching.  The team hopes to make their rotation the bedrock of a team that can win several division titles.  Look at the players and their native languages.

Aaron Harang, a solid veteran and one-time ace whose performance has slipped recently, is from San Diego.  He almost definitely doesn't speak Spanish.

Bronson Arroyo, a "veteran league average innings eater," in BP's estimation, was born in Key West to a Cuban family.  He almost definitely DOES speak at least some Spanish; chances are he's rather fluent.

Behind these two veterans are the young pitchers the Reds are counting on to lead them out of the NL Central depths:

Johnny Cueto, from the Dominican Republic.  Native Spanish speaker.

Edinson Volquez, also from the DR.  Native Spanish speaker.  [Mr. Volquez will not be back on the roster until midseason due to injury.]

And, most importantly...

Aroldis Chapman, the Reds newest signee, straight off the Cuban national team.  With the fortune the Reds have given Mr. Chapman, it is in the organization's interest to do everything possible to ensure his success. 

How many times have we seen a foreign player struggle mightily in his rookie season because of the considerable cultural adjustment?  Mr. Chapman in particular is going to experience possibly the biggest possible one-year swing in his social, cultural, and economic status.  He's going from, essentially, Cuban peasant to American zillionaire.  As far as I know. Mr. Chapman doesn't have any family or established relationships in America.  He will be left to deal with the transition on his own, and with help from his teammates.

Who's going to tell Mr. Chapman the difference between a legitimate financial advisor and the unscrupulous sharks who want him to fund their Madoff-style schemes?  Who's going to confront Mr. Chapman when he's made too many late night Taco Bell runs?  Who is going to listen to and understand Mr. Chapman's adjustment issues?

While they might not be able to RELATE to Chapman's issues, the Spanish speakers on the roster will at least have the language skills to UNDERSTAND what Mr. Chapman is saying.  Mssrs. Cueto and Volquez will have gone through something similar over the past few years -- but they are still learning the ropes of major league life themselves. 

And here is the hole that Ramon Hernandez can fill.  It is likely that Mr. Jocketty expects Mr. Hernandez to be as much coach as player to the predominantly young and predominantly Spanish-speaking starting pitchers.  Sure, Ryan Hanigan is the better hitter with the better arm and more potential.  But Hernandez might be better for his teammates.

Chapman?

The Nachoman's Cubs correspondent Deep Dish writes in to ask about the Reds signing of Aroldis Chapman.

1.  I trust Walt Jocketty.

2.  $5 mil per year isn't really that much, as major league pitchers go.

3.  I don't believe the 102 mph baloney for a second.  Remember the "gyroball?"

4.  I'm much more worried about Rolen's contract.  I like him, but isn't he older than me?

5.  I'd be a whole lot more confident if I thought the Reds had a decent pitching coach.  Can we please steal Dave Duncan or Leo Mazzone?  Mazzone is broadcasting, for Bob's sake, he's available!

6.  Isn't Havana the best possible expansion city for MLB?  Can someone please just "dissapear" whichever Castro is in charge so we can put a team there?

NM