Rangers fans will throw their support behind Josh Hamilton, whose OPS over 1.000 and 13 homers through the first third of the season have given northeast Texas baseball fans someone to root for for the first time since Sir Nolan put Robin Ventura in the hospital with multiple noogies. Shortsighted Reds fans keep flooding message boards with “oy, what could have been if we had kept Mr. Hamilton” sentiments. What could have been? I’ll tell you what could have been, Josh Fogg would have been giving up 7 runs per start every five days because the team would never have acquired Edinson Volquez, and the Reds would have been in last place.[1]
Reds fans will vote for Jay Bruce, his 1.300 OPS through his first week in the big leagues, and his ability to remove the vacant looks from Adam Dunn’s and Ken Griffey’s faces. But had Hamilton still been on the team, Jay Bruce would still be toiling in the minor leagues without a spot in the Great American outfield. The Volquez-Hamilton trade for this year gave both teams exactly what they needed. Long term, I still suspect that the Reds got the better end of the deal… Mr. Volquez has a long career ahead of him if he can learn to pitch deeper into games without throwing out his arm. Mr. Hamilton’s possible downside is that he took three years off while putting Bob knows what drugs into his body, and we’re not talking steroids here. He’s 27 now, and he could well have a long career; however, I think his long-term risk justifies the acquisition of the young pitcher.
Cubs fans might well vote for Kosuke Fukudome.[2] I watched just one Cubs game last week, the Tuesday night clash with the Dodgers. Mr. Fukudome reached base three of four times and drove in a critical insurance run. More to the point, he made two amazing plays in the outfield. The Cubs scored three in the 7th inning to go ahead 3-1. In came Carlos Marmol, who promptly walked the leadoff batter. Juan Pierre next crushed a line drive deep into the right-center field gap with the outfielders playing in. Considering Mr. Pierre’s speed, that ball could have scored a run, and put the tying run on third with no one out. But here came Mr. Fukudome, sprinting along a precise route to where the ball would have fallen had a merely average defender been patrolling. And though that was the most critical play that Mr. Fukudome made Tuesday night, it wasn’t the most impressive: he also had a diving catch on a softly hit liner.
Cubs fan Deep Dish asked me several times during this game: Why isn’t Fukudome playing center field? Take a look at the Cubs lineup page. While most other positions have been reasonably settled, the Cubs have alternated center field between Felix Pie (who can’t hit), Reed Johnson (who can’t hit), and recent acquisition Jim Edmonds (who is a member of AARP). Deep Dish wants Mr. Fukudome in center, and he wants to find a good hitting Adam Dunn-type for right. I can’t argue with the man’s logic.
Who’s YOUR favorite third baseman?
Here was an online poll in which the Nachoman participated:
If you were starting a team and could have any third baseman (considering both hitting and fielding), who would you want?
(A) Chipper Jones
(B) Alex Rodriguez
(C) David Wright
(D) Ryan Zimmerman
(E) Edwin Encarnacion
Ha ha, just kidding there about (E), fellow Reds fan. Anyway, I chose Mr. Wright…I’d take the 25 year old over the 36 year old to start a franchise any day, even if said 36 year old is hitting .420 through 50 games. I think that one’s a no-brainer. However, the most popular choice, by a truly enormous margin, was Chipper. What happened, did those surveyed have to ingest a strong drink before voting?
No, I took the survey on ajc.com, home of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. The results were the opinions of Braves fans, who naturally have a blind spot in their logic where the home team is concerned. For more on Braves Bias, see below.
I’m mainly amused by their commercials
Thursday night, during the Dodgers-Reds game, I saw an ad for farmersonly.com, an online dating service. The ad showed lonely farmer babes strolling through sun kissed fields in straw hats, then showed the same farmer babes line dancing. Subsequently, caricatures of the famous pitchfork picture .[3] characters talked about how “city folks just don’t get it.”
Having checked out the website and read the letter from the founder, I am thoroughly supportive of the principle behind farmersonly. Farmers generally live a more isolated existence than city dwellers, and they can’t just hop down to the nightclub or the pub four nights a week – among other problems, they have to be up to milk the goats in the morning. Beyond practical considerations, how many people who use a typical online dating service know anything about a farmer’s lifestyle, let alone might be willing to enter into a serious relationship with a farmer? This site provides a useful service.
But oh boy, are the ads howlers… take a look below.
Afterword
I’ll note that I wrote the item above BEFORE this site was featured on TheBigLead Wednesday. I do occasionally find my own material.
Rim shot, please
The Padres wore their camouflage uniforms on Sunday afternoon against the Reds. It made Greg Maddux’s fastball all the more deceptive because no one could see him.
Where I disagree with the sabermatricians’ bottom line
Two entrenched camps of experienced baseball people disagree about how, primarily, to evaluate players. The “Old Baseball Men” camp, represented in the national media by Joe Morgan and a host of curmudgeonly newspaper columnists, evaluates primarily by means of anecdotal and visual evidence combined with firsthand observation. The newer “sabermetrician” camp, represented by Bill James and his disciples, including those at Firejoemorgan.com, evaluates primarily by means of statistics.
Oakland’s Billy Beane and Boston’s Theo Epstein have shown the effectiveness of sabermetric[4] analysis; however, a good general manager’s methods generally fall somewhere in between the two extremes.
You’ll find that the Nachoman’s sympathies lie with the revolutionaries. I am not frightened of mathematics (an affliction which underlies much of the Joe Morgan-style statistics bashing). Since I don’t have the time or access to visually evaluate each player I want to know about, I rely on universally available data. (I think prominent sabermetricians might be more sympathetic to firsthand scouting if they had the opportunity and access to do some of their own scouting.) Though my own general managing experience is limited to running the Electric Marshmallows of the Injustice League, I’ve done rather well for myself based primarily on statistical analysis.
A fundamental thesis of sabermetrics is that “clubhouse chemistry” is irrelevant to team performance. Either a guy can hit, or he cannot; a group hug is not part of the arrangement. Sabermetricians continually deride grumpy columnists who sing the praises of the “gritty” David Eckstein and disparage the “aloof” Alex Rodriguez. And no wonder: though Mr. Eckstein is obviously guy you’d rather have a beer with after the game, fact is his career OPS[5] is a below-average .711. And though Mr. Rodriguez seems to be a brooding megalomaniac whenever his PR assistant takes the day off, his career OPS is an incredible .965 over twice as many seasons. Here’s where anyone with a brain[6] would be happy to take Mr. Rodriguez on his or her team, team chemistry issues be danged.
However…
I think there is more legitimacy to the clubhouse chemistry argument than do most folks of a mathematical bent. Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds, and Roger Clemens can get away with being jerks or negative leaders, because, well, they are Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds, and Roger Clemens. But is it really worth keeping, say, a Milton Bradley or Shea Hillenbrand around? Both these guys have long histories of troublemaking, but are average or just above-average career hitters. Mr. Hillenbrand, for example, famously culminated months of dissent by writing “This is a sinking ship” on a clubhouse bulletin board, followed by sentiments like “Play for yourself.” Certainly professional athletes can choose whether or not to pay attention to such mantras. But poisoning – or, contrariwise, enriching – the job environment had got to be worth something.
Think about your own job. If you’re anyone I want to hire, you’re going to do your job well regardless of whether your co-workers are inspiring, dull, or actively obnoxious. That said, think of how much better your output when your co-workers are friendly and supportive. I don’t care whether you’re a ballplayer, a custodian, a teacher, or a student, you produce superior work when you’re comfortable and confident.
Now, before you pooh-pooh my belief in chemistry, ask yourself: What is the job of a baseball MANAGER? Is it incumbent upon him to motivate millionaire players with little financial incentive to perform well on the field? Well, yes… the manager makes strategic decisions, but his success or lack thereof is often determined by his handling of personnel issues.
So, if the manager can influence outcomes by improving the team’s working environment, why can’t teammates exert similar influence? No one is suggesting that a manager or teammates can turn Edwin Encarnacion into Brooks Robinson. But numerous positive influences *might* be able to convince him to make adjustments to his swing that he might have been too stubborn or lazy to attempt. Competition from other fiery players might make him realize that he’s not the only person in the organization who can hit .240 with 9 errors, spurring him to redouble his efforts. Who knows whether a player’s efforts are truly maxed out until he is challenged? And, I suggest that there is in fact a type of player whose addition to a roster challenges his teammates to consider whether or not they are, in fact, doing everything in their power to help the team. Such influence can’t make up for pathetic baseball ability… but given two somewhat similar ballplayers, give me the one with positive chemistry but slightly worse numbers any day.
Evidence of strong clubhouse chemistry
Though I can’t give credit to an individual, I note that the Reds seem to be having fun recently. A strong homestand two weeks ago led to last week’s difficult road trip. In the last game of that trip, on getaway day in San Diego, the bullpen blew leads in both the 9th and the 12th innings. With the last reliever in the ballgame, Dusty Baker looked at his bench – there sat every starting pitcher, spikes on, begging for the chance to enter the game. Highly paid starters Bronson Arroyo and Aaron Harang had every right to head to the clubhouse, or at least to ask not to pitch. Young superstar Edinson Volquez could easily have argued that he didn’t want to blow out his fragile arm. But, all were there, ready to go. Mr. Volquez gave his reasons later: “I’m tired of losing.” Unfortunately, the Reds lost that game in 18 innings.
Two days later, after a long and depressing cross-country flight and an off day, the team made some transactions. Yet another enthusiastic rookie was called up from AAA. Jay Bruce, widely considered the best outfield prospect on any minor league team, arrived to replace the .200 hitting Corey Patterson. Veterans Adam Dunn and Ken Griffey were pleased to see the newbie. They engaged in low-grade, friendly hazing – after getting on base five times in his debut, Mr. Bruce got a pie-in-the face during his postgame interview; Dunn and Griffey repeatedly gave Mr. Bruce incorrect instructions about pregame protocol. Mr. Bruce took all of this with a smile… and maybe, just maybe, I thought I saw Adam Dunn moving a little more quickly than usual when he chased a ball in left field.
Pot calls kettle black
Si.com headline Thursday: “Tank Johnson tells commish: 'Let Pacman play' ”
Reds fans will vote for Jay Bruce, his 1.300 OPS through his first week in the big leagues, and his ability to remove the vacant looks from Adam Dunn’s and Ken Griffey’s faces. But had Hamilton still been on the team, Jay Bruce would still be toiling in the minor leagues without a spot in the Great American outfield. The Volquez-Hamilton trade for this year gave both teams exactly what they needed. Long term, I still suspect that the Reds got the better end of the deal… Mr. Volquez has a long career ahead of him if he can learn to pitch deeper into games without throwing out his arm. Mr. Hamilton’s possible downside is that he took three years off while putting Bob knows what drugs into his body, and we’re not talking steroids here. He’s 27 now, and he could well have a long career; however, I think his long-term risk justifies the acquisition of the young pitcher.
Cubs fans might well vote for Kosuke Fukudome.[2] I watched just one Cubs game last week, the Tuesday night clash with the Dodgers. Mr. Fukudome reached base three of four times and drove in a critical insurance run. More to the point, he made two amazing plays in the outfield. The Cubs scored three in the 7th inning to go ahead 3-1. In came Carlos Marmol, who promptly walked the leadoff batter. Juan Pierre next crushed a line drive deep into the right-center field gap with the outfielders playing in. Considering Mr. Pierre’s speed, that ball could have scored a run, and put the tying run on third with no one out. But here came Mr. Fukudome, sprinting along a precise route to where the ball would have fallen had a merely average defender been patrolling. And though that was the most critical play that Mr. Fukudome made Tuesday night, it wasn’t the most impressive: he also had a diving catch on a softly hit liner.
Cubs fan Deep Dish asked me several times during this game: Why isn’t Fukudome playing center field? Take a look at the Cubs lineup page. While most other positions have been reasonably settled, the Cubs have alternated center field between Felix Pie (who can’t hit), Reed Johnson (who can’t hit), and recent acquisition Jim Edmonds (who is a member of AARP). Deep Dish wants Mr. Fukudome in center, and he wants to find a good hitting Adam Dunn-type for right. I can’t argue with the man’s logic.
Who’s YOUR favorite third baseman?
Here was an online poll in which the Nachoman participated:
If you were starting a team and could have any third baseman (considering both hitting and fielding), who would you want?
(A) Chipper Jones
(B) Alex Rodriguez
(C) David Wright
(D) Ryan Zimmerman
(E) Edwin Encarnacion
Ha ha, just kidding there about (E), fellow Reds fan. Anyway, I chose Mr. Wright…I’d take the 25 year old over the 36 year old to start a franchise any day, even if said 36 year old is hitting .420 through 50 games. I think that one’s a no-brainer. However, the most popular choice, by a truly enormous margin, was Chipper. What happened, did those surveyed have to ingest a strong drink before voting?
No, I took the survey on ajc.com, home of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. The results were the opinions of Braves fans, who naturally have a blind spot in their logic where the home team is concerned. For more on Braves Bias, see below.
I’m mainly amused by their commercials
Thursday night, during the Dodgers-Reds game, I saw an ad for farmersonly.com, an online dating service. The ad showed lonely farmer babes strolling through sun kissed fields in straw hats, then showed the same farmer babes line dancing. Subsequently, caricatures of the famous pitchfork picture .[3] characters talked about how “city folks just don’t get it.”
Having checked out the website and read the letter from the founder, I am thoroughly supportive of the principle behind farmersonly. Farmers generally live a more isolated existence than city dwellers, and they can’t just hop down to the nightclub or the pub four nights a week – among other problems, they have to be up to milk the goats in the morning. Beyond practical considerations, how many people who use a typical online dating service know anything about a farmer’s lifestyle, let alone might be willing to enter into a serious relationship with a farmer? This site provides a useful service.
But oh boy, are the ads howlers… take a look below.
Afterword
I’ll note that I wrote the item above BEFORE this site was featured on TheBigLead Wednesday. I do occasionally find my own material.
Rim shot, please
The Padres wore their camouflage uniforms on Sunday afternoon against the Reds. It made Greg Maddux’s fastball all the more deceptive because no one could see him.
Where I disagree with the sabermatricians’ bottom line
Two entrenched camps of experienced baseball people disagree about how, primarily, to evaluate players. The “Old Baseball Men” camp, represented in the national media by Joe Morgan and a host of curmudgeonly newspaper columnists, evaluates primarily by means of anecdotal and visual evidence combined with firsthand observation. The newer “sabermetrician” camp, represented by Bill James and his disciples, including those at Firejoemorgan.com, evaluates primarily by means of statistics.
Oakland’s Billy Beane and Boston’s Theo Epstein have shown the effectiveness of sabermetric[4] analysis; however, a good general manager’s methods generally fall somewhere in between the two extremes.
You’ll find that the Nachoman’s sympathies lie with the revolutionaries. I am not frightened of mathematics (an affliction which underlies much of the Joe Morgan-style statistics bashing). Since I don’t have the time or access to visually evaluate each player I want to know about, I rely on universally available data. (I think prominent sabermetricians might be more sympathetic to firsthand scouting if they had the opportunity and access to do some of their own scouting.) Though my own general managing experience is limited to running the Electric Marshmallows of the Injustice League, I’ve done rather well for myself based primarily on statistical analysis.
A fundamental thesis of sabermetrics is that “clubhouse chemistry” is irrelevant to team performance. Either a guy can hit, or he cannot; a group hug is not part of the arrangement. Sabermetricians continually deride grumpy columnists who sing the praises of the “gritty” David Eckstein and disparage the “aloof” Alex Rodriguez. And no wonder: though Mr. Eckstein is obviously guy you’d rather have a beer with after the game, fact is his career OPS[5] is a below-average .711. And though Mr. Rodriguez seems to be a brooding megalomaniac whenever his PR assistant takes the day off, his career OPS is an incredible .965 over twice as many seasons. Here’s where anyone with a brain[6] would be happy to take Mr. Rodriguez on his or her team, team chemistry issues be danged.
However…
I think there is more legitimacy to the clubhouse chemistry argument than do most folks of a mathematical bent. Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds, and Roger Clemens can get away with being jerks or negative leaders, because, well, they are Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds, and Roger Clemens. But is it really worth keeping, say, a Milton Bradley or Shea Hillenbrand around? Both these guys have long histories of troublemaking, but are average or just above-average career hitters. Mr. Hillenbrand, for example, famously culminated months of dissent by writing “This is a sinking ship” on a clubhouse bulletin board, followed by sentiments like “Play for yourself.” Certainly professional athletes can choose whether or not to pay attention to such mantras. But poisoning – or, contrariwise, enriching – the job environment had got to be worth something.
Think about your own job. If you’re anyone I want to hire, you’re going to do your job well regardless of whether your co-workers are inspiring, dull, or actively obnoxious. That said, think of how much better your output when your co-workers are friendly and supportive. I don’t care whether you’re a ballplayer, a custodian, a teacher, or a student, you produce superior work when you’re comfortable and confident.
Now, before you pooh-pooh my belief in chemistry, ask yourself: What is the job of a baseball MANAGER? Is it incumbent upon him to motivate millionaire players with little financial incentive to perform well on the field? Well, yes… the manager makes strategic decisions, but his success or lack thereof is often determined by his handling of personnel issues.
So, if the manager can influence outcomes by improving the team’s working environment, why can’t teammates exert similar influence? No one is suggesting that a manager or teammates can turn Edwin Encarnacion into Brooks Robinson. But numerous positive influences *might* be able to convince him to make adjustments to his swing that he might have been too stubborn or lazy to attempt. Competition from other fiery players might make him realize that he’s not the only person in the organization who can hit .240 with 9 errors, spurring him to redouble his efforts. Who knows whether a player’s efforts are truly maxed out until he is challenged? And, I suggest that there is in fact a type of player whose addition to a roster challenges his teammates to consider whether or not they are, in fact, doing everything in their power to help the team. Such influence can’t make up for pathetic baseball ability… but given two somewhat similar ballplayers, give me the one with positive chemistry but slightly worse numbers any day.
Evidence of strong clubhouse chemistry
Though I can’t give credit to an individual, I note that the Reds seem to be having fun recently. A strong homestand two weeks ago led to last week’s difficult road trip. In the last game of that trip, on getaway day in San Diego, the bullpen blew leads in both the 9th and the 12th innings. With the last reliever in the ballgame, Dusty Baker looked at his bench – there sat every starting pitcher, spikes on, begging for the chance to enter the game. Highly paid starters Bronson Arroyo and Aaron Harang had every right to head to the clubhouse, or at least to ask not to pitch. Young superstar Edinson Volquez could easily have argued that he didn’t want to blow out his fragile arm. But, all were there, ready to go. Mr. Volquez gave his reasons later: “I’m tired of losing.” Unfortunately, the Reds lost that game in 18 innings.
Two days later, after a long and depressing cross-country flight and an off day, the team made some transactions. Yet another enthusiastic rookie was called up from AAA. Jay Bruce, widely considered the best outfield prospect on any minor league team, arrived to replace the .200 hitting Corey Patterson. Veterans Adam Dunn and Ken Griffey were pleased to see the newbie. They engaged in low-grade, friendly hazing – after getting on base five times in his debut, Mr. Bruce got a pie-in-the face during his postgame interview; Dunn and Griffey repeatedly gave Mr. Bruce incorrect instructions about pregame protocol. Mr. Bruce took all of this with a smile… and maybe, just maybe, I thought I saw Adam Dunn moving a little more quickly than usual when he chased a ball in left field.
Pot calls kettle black
Si.com headline Thursday: “Tank Johnson tells commish: 'Let Pacman play' ”
The natural sequel...
OJ Simpson tells commish, "Pacman is innocent. Like me, dontcheknow."
Greg Maddux does everything right, even the little things
The Padres put the shift on against Ken Griffey, putting three infielders to the first base side, only one to the third base side. On the first pitch, Mr. Griffey squared around to bunt. As the pitch crossed the plate, Greg Maddux had taken three steps toward the third base line, already ready for the bunt.
He’s not Barry Bonds, he’s Babe Ruth
Greg Maddux gets major credit from the Nachoman for being the best pitcher in the history of baseball… I make that claim based not only on the numbers he put up, but because his prime coincided with the heart of the Steroid Era. He maintained 1910-like pitching numbers while the players’ biceps were as big as Mr. Maddux’s head.
I’ve also noted before that Mr. Maddux has never been in the least associated with any sort of muscle-building illicit substances. Yet, in his late career, Mr. Maddux has gotten considerably larger. Look at the pictures below: on the left, 2008, on the right, circa 1989… the difference here is, Mr. Maddux’s gains have been around the belly, not in the biceps. Maybe the pudgy beer belly is symptomatic of the Babe Ruth Fitness Program.
He’s not Barry Bonds, he’s Babe Ruth
Greg Maddux gets major credit from the Nachoman for being the best pitcher in the history of baseball… I make that claim based not only on the numbers he put up, but because his prime coincided with the heart of the Steroid Era. He maintained 1910-like pitching numbers while the players’ biceps were as big as Mr. Maddux’s head.
I’ve also noted before that Mr. Maddux has never been in the least associated with any sort of muscle-building illicit substances. Yet, in his late career, Mr. Maddux has gotten considerably larger. Look at the pictures below: on the left, 2008, on the right, circa 1989… the difference here is, Mr. Maddux’s gains have been around the belly, not in the biceps. Maybe the pudgy beer belly is symptomatic of the Babe Ruth Fitness Program.
More wishful thinking from a Braves fan
I got this email on Monday – the day after the Reds 18 inning loss – from Ted Malinowski, an excellent varsity baseball player, a strong physics student, and an Atlanta Braves fan:
“Since the Reds struggles have seemed to come out of the pen (even starters like Volquez out of the pen), you might think about writing an email to the Reds' GM making sure that he understands that the Braves not only have one of the best 'pens from top to bottom right now number-wise, but it is also only about to get stronger and over populated. Three proven closers are returning to the Braves' pen in the next couple of weeks:
-Smoltz - coming back from DL stint with a new armslot which puts little or no stress on his shoulder, and, most importantly, the same mid-90s velocity and even better slider.
-Soriano - turns out he didn't need Tommy-John surgery. Just a sore elbow, and now that rehab is finished (basically, pending on successful or not successful session on mound today), he is coming back with his mid-90s fastball, low-80s change, and good breaking pitches.
-Gonzalez - traded for Adam Laroche two offseasons ago, got Tommy John surgery. Before he was hurt, he lead the Pirates in saves, and, more importantly, blew fewer than 4 saves in his last season ('06). He is a proven closer with a live arm, which is feeling good and looking better.
The Braves are also looking for a solid starter wherever they can find one, in a three way deal maybe, or possibly Edinson Volquez. He has done a decent job this year from what I have seen. Just possibilities, but the Braves are looking for a starter to hold down the bottom half of the rotation. With Glavine not having his stereotypical "consistant" year, the Braves are really only counting on 2 consistent starters every game, Jair Jurrens (having a very solid year, ERA in the top 10 in the NL), and Tim Hudson (having a good year, found his changeup again, a pitch that was his go to pitch in Oakland and has deserted him in Atlanta).”
My response to Ted:
"The Reds bullpen has actually improved dramatically this year over last. I no longer cringe when the pen comes in. Sunday was their first true collapse... the only reason they used Harang and Volquez in long relief was because the game went 18 innings. (And THAT was because David Weathers, whom the Braves may have for a dozen donuts, and Francisco Cordero gave up home runs in the eighth and ninth innings.)"
Of course, this is wishful thinking on the part of my friend the Braves fan… the Reds traded away Josh Hamilton, their best outfielder and former #1 overall draft choice, for Edinson Volquez. Mr. Volquez hasn’t just done a “decent job this year,” he’s leading the National League in ERA and owns nearly 30% of Reds wins. I think the Reds will be keeping him unless they’re offered, say, Chipper Jones and Jair Jurrjens in a package deal.
I got this email on Monday – the day after the Reds 18 inning loss – from Ted Malinowski, an excellent varsity baseball player, a strong physics student, and an Atlanta Braves fan:
“Since the Reds struggles have seemed to come out of the pen (even starters like Volquez out of the pen), you might think about writing an email to the Reds' GM making sure that he understands that the Braves not only have one of the best 'pens from top to bottom right now number-wise, but it is also only about to get stronger and over populated. Three proven closers are returning to the Braves' pen in the next couple of weeks:
-Smoltz - coming back from DL stint with a new armslot which puts little or no stress on his shoulder, and, most importantly, the same mid-90s velocity and even better slider.
-Soriano - turns out he didn't need Tommy-John surgery. Just a sore elbow, and now that rehab is finished (basically, pending on successful or not successful session on mound today), he is coming back with his mid-90s fastball, low-80s change, and good breaking pitches.
-Gonzalez - traded for Adam Laroche two offseasons ago, got Tommy John surgery. Before he was hurt, he lead the Pirates in saves, and, more importantly, blew fewer than 4 saves in his last season ('06). He is a proven closer with a live arm, which is feeling good and looking better.
The Braves are also looking for a solid starter wherever they can find one, in a three way deal maybe, or possibly Edinson Volquez. He has done a decent job this year from what I have seen. Just possibilities, but the Braves are looking for a starter to hold down the bottom half of the rotation. With Glavine not having his stereotypical "consistant" year, the Braves are really only counting on 2 consistent starters every game, Jair Jurrens (having a very solid year, ERA in the top 10 in the NL), and Tim Hudson (having a good year, found his changeup again, a pitch that was his go to pitch in Oakland and has deserted him in Atlanta).”
My response to Ted:
"The Reds bullpen has actually improved dramatically this year over last. I no longer cringe when the pen comes in. Sunday was their first true collapse... the only reason they used Harang and Volquez in long relief was because the game went 18 innings. (And THAT was because David Weathers, whom the Braves may have for a dozen donuts, and Francisco Cordero gave up home runs in the eighth and ninth innings.)"
Of course, this is wishful thinking on the part of my friend the Braves fan… the Reds traded away Josh Hamilton, their best outfielder and former #1 overall draft choice, for Edinson Volquez. Mr. Volquez hasn’t just done a “decent job this year,” he’s leading the National League in ERA and owns nearly 30% of Reds wins. I think the Reds will be keeping him unless they’re offered, say, Chipper Jones and Jair Jurrjens in a package deal.
Ooh, ooh, I wonder if that's possible... now THAT would be a sweet deal, says the Reds fan.
Now HERE are the corporate titans that need to be boiled in beezlenut oil
I’ve never been a huge fan of the NCAA, but not for many of the typical reasons espoused by sports media types. I don’t really object to the commercialization of college sports – if YOU could make money hand over fist like the NCAA does, you would. I enjoy the BCS, the NCAA basketball tournament, and the College World Series, despite their numerous flaws. I have serious objections to the sanctimonious hypocrisy every time I watch an ad in which the NCAA claims to be about education rather than about fleecing sports fans for every cent they might be willing to give up; however, I also understand the public relations necessity of running such ads.
That said, I was unaware just how far over the line between “money grubbing” and “evil” the NCAA had stepped. It’s bad that tickets to big events such as the final four are essentially unavailable to the general public – most are gladhanded to corporate sponsors, NCAA executives, and other “important” people. Bad, yes, but not truly evil… presumably the NCAA sees it in their long term interest to shut out the common fan. The common fan has every right simply not to go, or not to watch. College sports are a very, very hot product, which the NCAA may market as they see fit.
I found out yesterday just how tickets to the final four are distributed to the general public. Fans must enter a lottery for the few available tickets. That they should have a lottery is certainly not evil… it’s merely the NCAA’s choice of how to distribute a rare product in high demand. I don’t even know the price of tickets, but they could be $1000 a piece, and I would not object.[7]
The evil comes in the requirements for the lottery:
1. All tickets must be paid in advance, including a $10 “service charge.”
2. The lottery is actually held many months after the money-due deadline.
3. Those who win get tickets; those who lose have ticket money refunded.
4. The service charge is nonrefundable, whether the applicant wins or not.
5. Each person my submit up to 10 applications.
6. No one may know precisely how many tickets are available, nor the approximate odds of winning.
What this boils down to is illegal gambling: for $10 plus a multiple-month interest-free loan of probably close to $100, you may have the chance to win a product of value. At least, that’s the contention of a California law firm. They have filed suit in California – where lotteries are illegal except those run by the state or a charity – to reclaim damages to the zillions of fans who have been fleeced by this scheme, plus, I’m sure, to pocket significant lawyer fees.
Oh, wait, that’s just how college admission works!
Send in an application with a $50 “service fee” for a chance to win the right to pay tens of thousand a year in pursuit of an academic degree. The odds of winning are not disclosed ahead of time.
Maybe they’re going to have to expand the famous pamphlet from Airplane
The Nachoman’s brother-in-law Joe Nacho and the Nachograndpa revel in great performances by Jewish athletes. They, and, apparently, Jews nationwide, are agog by the potential of Jewish MVPs in both leagues. Ryan Braun and Kevin Youkilis both have legitimate credentials as Children of Israel. While I find this combination of MVPs unlikely, and I am a bit less inclined than my relatives to root for players based on their ethnicity (though I admit that makes as much sense as rooting based on which zillionaire is paying them to play), I did enjoy this line from The Jewish Journal:
“…Braun is quietly establishing himself as a circumcised version of Albert Pujols.”
I can only hope that The Jewish Journal has not checked in to the state of Mr. Pujols’… oh, whatever.
Joe Nacho’s disclaimer
Mr. Nacho’s email also advises me that any tax advice contained in the email is not intended or written to be used. Does a discussion of famous Jewish ballplayers constitute tax advice?
Now HERE are the corporate titans that need to be boiled in beezlenut oil
I’ve never been a huge fan of the NCAA, but not for many of the typical reasons espoused by sports media types. I don’t really object to the commercialization of college sports – if YOU could make money hand over fist like the NCAA does, you would. I enjoy the BCS, the NCAA basketball tournament, and the College World Series, despite their numerous flaws. I have serious objections to the sanctimonious hypocrisy every time I watch an ad in which the NCAA claims to be about education rather than about fleecing sports fans for every cent they might be willing to give up; however, I also understand the public relations necessity of running such ads.
That said, I was unaware just how far over the line between “money grubbing” and “evil” the NCAA had stepped. It’s bad that tickets to big events such as the final four are essentially unavailable to the general public – most are gladhanded to corporate sponsors, NCAA executives, and other “important” people. Bad, yes, but not truly evil… presumably the NCAA sees it in their long term interest to shut out the common fan. The common fan has every right simply not to go, or not to watch. College sports are a very, very hot product, which the NCAA may market as they see fit.
I found out yesterday just how tickets to the final four are distributed to the general public. Fans must enter a lottery for the few available tickets. That they should have a lottery is certainly not evil… it’s merely the NCAA’s choice of how to distribute a rare product in high demand. I don’t even know the price of tickets, but they could be $1000 a piece, and I would not object.[7]
The evil comes in the requirements for the lottery:
1. All tickets must be paid in advance, including a $10 “service charge.”
2. The lottery is actually held many months after the money-due deadline.
3. Those who win get tickets; those who lose have ticket money refunded.
4. The service charge is nonrefundable, whether the applicant wins or not.
5. Each person my submit up to 10 applications.
6. No one may know precisely how many tickets are available, nor the approximate odds of winning.
What this boils down to is illegal gambling: for $10 plus a multiple-month interest-free loan of probably close to $100, you may have the chance to win a product of value. At least, that’s the contention of a California law firm. They have filed suit in California – where lotteries are illegal except those run by the state or a charity – to reclaim damages to the zillions of fans who have been fleeced by this scheme, plus, I’m sure, to pocket significant lawyer fees.
Oh, wait, that’s just how college admission works!
Send in an application with a $50 “service fee” for a chance to win the right to pay tens of thousand a year in pursuit of an academic degree. The odds of winning are not disclosed ahead of time.
Maybe they’re going to have to expand the famous pamphlet from Airplane
The Nachoman’s brother-in-law Joe Nacho and the Nachograndpa revel in great performances by Jewish athletes. They, and, apparently, Jews nationwide, are agog by the potential of Jewish MVPs in both leagues. Ryan Braun and Kevin Youkilis both have legitimate credentials as Children of Israel. While I find this combination of MVPs unlikely, and I am a bit less inclined than my relatives to root for players based on their ethnicity (though I admit that makes as much sense as rooting based on which zillionaire is paying them to play), I did enjoy this line from The Jewish Journal:
“…Braun is quietly establishing himself as a circumcised version of Albert Pujols.”
I can only hope that The Jewish Journal has not checked in to the state of Mr. Pujols’… oh, whatever.
Joe Nacho’s disclaimer
Mr. Nacho’s email also advises me that any tax advice contained in the email is not intended or written to be used. Does a discussion of famous Jewish ballplayers constitute tax advice?
Well, a colleague at my southern boarding school once kept a squirrel in his fridge
Though my boarding school admits folks of many different economic classes, once students are here, everyone gravitates toward the same lifestyle. Money is simply not a hugely necessary commodity while school is in session. The snack bar sells burgers and fries at cost; food at the dining hall is, of course, free. School-sponsored weekend activities are actually school-sponsored, meaning that students don’t pay except occasionally for a fast-food meal on the road. Sure, some students have fancy electronic equipment, which generally becomes communal once it’s on dorm; some students have better clothes or cell phones than others. But, since there’s not more than a couple of hours a week in which to enjoy material goods, and since no one at a boys’ school actually cares what kind of clothes anyone wears, we all live a similar sort of upper-middle-class existence.
So it’s easy for us to forget that true poor rural southern culture still exists. Here’s a great and humbling example: a recruit to the University of Miami explains how to cook possum and raccoon… not because he went on fancy and expensive hunting trips with dad, but because, living on a barrier island, these were the critters he often ate for dinner.
The Stanley Cup finals are here again! Let’s buy 6000 pounds of octopus!
The Nachoman tried very hard to become a hockey fan back in the day by attending numerous Cincinnati Cyclones games, and by watching virtually every New York Rangers playoff game in 1994 in the company of true Rangers fans. NachoGrandpa was a true fan even farther back in the day – he was a Chicago Blackhawks season ticket holder in the Stan Mikita[8] era. Hockey didn’t stick with me, for a variety of reasons. Yet, I have a healthy respect for the Stanley Cup playoffs, as long as they occur outside the sun belt. This year’s final series is between the Detroit Red Wings and the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Detroit hockey fans perpetuate the sweetest tradition in all of American sports… yes, much better even than Georgia’s “Hunker Down You Hairy Dawgs.” They throw octopuses from the stands onto the ice. Why octopi, you ask? When the tradition started, it took eight victories – two best-of-seven-series – to win the Stanley cup. (These days, I suppose, fans should throw *two* octopodes, since 16 wins are necessary.) Thus, the eight-legged cephalopod became the projectile of choice.
While the Nachoman has long been aware of this Detroit tradition, I’ve never before heard of those who so actively attempt to thwart potential mollusk hurlers. For one, the league itself will fine the Red Wings $10,000 if anyone in Detroit throws an octopus.[9] Beyond that, even obtaining an octopus to throw might be difficult outside Detroit.
ESPN gave a lot of press to this this Pittsburgh fishmonger who won’t sell Red Wings fans octopuses. According to the story, he will be listening carefully to customers’ accents, eavesdropping on their conversations, maybe even asking for proof of local residence before selling anyone an octopus. There can’t be that many octopus purveyors in the city of Pittsburgh. If both of them are careful about their customers, the city of Pittsburgh might prevent the major disaster that would ensure if (gasp!) anyone managed to throw an octopus onto the Penguins home ice.
While the fan in me admires this fishmonger’s support of his team, I wonder about the economic damage he will suffer. I did some research about octopus consumption in the United States.[10] I didn’t accomplish much, so I asked genial Woodberry librarian Phoebe Warmack to help me. Specifically, I wanted to know how much of the national octopus crop is purchased for throwing rather than for eating. My suspicion is that so many more people buy octopuses to throw than to eat that this Pittsburgh fishmonger might have been throwing away a significant windfall profit.
In Detroit, vendor Superior Fish sells 20-30 points of retail octopus weekly, and another 100-200 pounds per week wholesale. On the day of a home playoff game, Superior Fish owners suggest they might sell 100 pounds in a day.
Ms. Warmack also found out that the EPA estimates octopus consumption in the US as 0.096 grams per person per day. I’m sure that most of you reading this say, “not per THIS person!” Nevertheless, let’s do the math…
The population of Detroit is in the neighborhood of 4 million. If Detroit eats octopus at the same rate as does the rest of the country, that works out to about 900 pounds of octopus per day consumed in the city. That’s somewhat consistent with Superior Fish’s non-game-day estimate; it suggests that there are in the neighborhood of 30 Detroit fishmongers who sell octopus.
Now, on game day, imagine that all the fishmongers increase their sales by a factor of 25, as Superior Fish does. That suggests more than 20,000 pounds of octopus purchased on the day of a game. With each octopus weighing in the neighborhood of 2-4 pounds, that’s around 7000 octopi bought in the city of Detroit for hockey purposes.
What is the best game-winning radio call?
Cincinnatians are contractually obligated to vote for Marty Brennaman's “This one belongs to the Reds!” However, I do have a soft spot for the Pirates “Raise the Jolly Roger!”
Just how wide is a warning track, anyway?
The Atlanta Cracker, properly, will never allow the Nachoman to get away with any sort of misstatement.
“I just saw your item on "Manny being Manny", and while I agree with you that this was a classic example of that well-worn phrase, I have to disagree with some of your analysis of the play itself. You claim Manny caught the ball 25 feet from the wall and then "kept running, kept running toward the wall, even though he already possessed the ball." You make it sound as if he had no discernable reason to keep running in that direction. But look at the video again. Manny, running full speed, caught the ball just before his left foot landed and then took one, two, three full steps before going up against the wall. While he may have been able to stop before reaching the wall, it also made a lot of sense for him to use the wall to help him stop and get his momentum going the other way for the throw back to the infield. (And 25 feet? How wide is the warning track? Because he was at most 1.5 warning-track-widths from the wall when he caught the ball, and his first full step put him right on the edge of the track). Now high-fiving the guy while he was up there turning around? That was pure Manny.”
I had always assumed a 15-foot warning track when scoring games for STATS, LLC. The Atlanta Cracker’s missive gave me cause to look this up… Wikipedia suggests about 10 feet for warning tracks. More to the point, my special tool from STATS that allows me to click on any spot in Camden Yards to get a distance, in feet, from home plate suggests that the warning tracks there are indeed 10 feet wide. I was initially estimating more than 1.5 but less than 2 warning tracks-worth of distance from the wall, giving me 22-25 feet. But, now I’m guessing more like 15-17 feet from the wall.
And, I hadn’t thought at all about Manny actually using the wall to stop his momentum. There, I’ll yield to the expertise of a quirky and crazy baseball player who also has great instincts.
However, on further investigation, I had better reasoning than I thought. A quick check of a few ballparks with my STATS tool shows that warning tracks range from the 10 feet at Camden to close to 20 feet in Washington. Fifteen feet is not an unreasonable estimate for a warning track. But, the Atlanta Cracker is correct – given the size of Camden Yards’ warning track, Manny was only 15 feet or so from the wall, so he was not taking the long, pointless jaunt that I implied he was. High-fiving the one guy in the bleachers wearing a Red Sox jersey, though? Pure genius.
More reader comments, this time from the Nachograndpa
"In the Mikado, there are two officials of the town: the Lord High Executioner, which is the highest ranking, and the Lord High Everything Else, the lower ranking official. Pooh Bah is the name of the Lord High Everything Else, and holds himself in excessive esteem. There is no Grand Pooh Bah.
Regarding light opera, during the early 20th century there was a heavy dose of light opera in the U.S., the two main composers being Rudolph Friml and Victor Herbert. Herbert wrote something called "Naughty Marietta". There was a movie made of Naughty Marietta, and on more than one occasion in grade school we had to suffer watching it. This was the public school's effort to instill culture in us beasts, and the teacher's effort to give herself some free time."
Next Week
The Nachoman encourages Woodberry students to throw octopuses onto the floor during basketball games. The Nachoman chooses to keep his job.
[1] Oh.
[2] Yes, I know he plays right field. Bear with me.
[3] Okay, okay, now I know it’s called American Gothic by Grant Wood. I will note that Google knew exactly what I was talking about when I searched for “famous pitchfork picture.”
[4] The term “sabermetric” derives from the name of the Society of Baseball Research.
[5] On base % plus slugging %... the best single-number indicator of a batter’s worth
[6] This generally excludes curmudgeonly newspaper columnists, especially those who are willing to appear on “Around the Horn.”
[7] I wouldn’t ever recommend buying them, but that’s a different story.
[8] My generation knows Stan Mikita as a donut shop owner in the cult movie Wayne’s World. Times change.
[9] In MLB or the NFL we would call this a slap-on-the-wrist-symbolic sort of fine. In the NHL, however, ten grand probably represents a significant fraction of annual revenue.
[10] The principal conclusion of my research was, don’t ever google “Americans eating octopus.” You will get back a youtube video of a frat boy eating a live octopus. Gross.
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