The Nachoman still gives his love to the Diamondbacks, who boast two of the best starting pitchers in baseball. Of course, Deep Dish has been promoting the Cubs prospects for over a month now. Deep Dish has a bit more of a rooting interest in this debate than the Nachoman, so I am willing to concede my position if I am provided with evidence that I am wrong.
Under the background of this longstanding discussion, Deep Dish and I happened to be leaving the dining hall simultaneously on Monday afternoon. We looked at each other, nodded hello… after a moment’s pause, we looked at each other again and, in PERFECT UNISON, uttered the same phrase:
“The Cubs swept the Diamondbacks this weekend.”
Deranged minds think alike, I suppose. Both teams share the best record in baseball as I write, though the Cubs now have a better Pythagorean record (meaning their run differential is better than that of the D-backs). I’m watching part of a Brandon Webb start tonight against the Rockies, the better to observe the Arizona juggernaut personally. I promise, I’ll make a point to watch a Cubs game this week for comparison.
The team I haven’t watched that I should is the Devil Rays. They have risen from the ashes of Vince Naimoli ownership to the AL east lead.
That said, I did watch an American League game this week: I saw Cleveland’s Fausto Carmona dominate the Blue Jays as part of the Indians starters’ current streak of 43 consecutive scoreless innings. That’s right, the Cleveland starters haven’t given up a run since CC Sabathia allowed one run in the 5th inning of his quality start last Friday. The Nachoman is simply in awe.
Normally, the Nachoman doesn't really care when professional athletes' birthdays are. What am I gonna do, send them a card? (I'm sure there's a Miguel Tejada or Julio Franco joke in here somewhere.)
But the Nachoman sends his birthday wishes to now-41-year-old John Smoltz, born on May 15, 1967... precisely one decade prior to the birth of Burrito Girl.
More on the Indians
The Woodberry lunch table was abuzz about Monday’s Asdrubal Cabrera unassisted triple play. What impressed people most wasn’t Mr. Cabrera’s actual defensive effort – after all, when runners on 1st and 2nd take off on the pitch, and said pitch is a line drive right at someone, a triple play is nearly guaranteed. (At least if there are no outs.) Whether the triple play is unassisted or not often depends on the whim of the defender, whether he appeals by tagging a runner, or whether he throws to a base for the appeal play.[1]
No, the focus of the faculty conversation was the Indians announcer, Rick Manning, who called the triple play before the ball even hit Mr. Cabrera’s glove: “Triple play! Triple play!” he said. Mr. Manning is an ex-Indian, and a former player with baseball instincts thinks triple play instantly on this sort of line drive. Nice work communicating his instincts to the crowd -- that's what a color man is for.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, a brawl!
Last Thursday night, Richie Sexson of the Mariners charged Rangers pitcher Kason Gabbard. As brawls go, this one was rather dumb and tame. Upon observing the charging Sexson, Mr. Gabbard took a low linebacker’s stance with the intent to deliver a tackle. Mr. Sexson changed tactics, throwing his helmet at Mr. Gabbard’s head. The helmet missed, instead hitting Mr. Gabbard in his recently injured back. The traditional melee ensued.
Why was Mr. Sexson mad enough to call forth violence against his opponent? Well, the Mariners had lost 8 of their last 9 games, and Mr. Sexson was barely hitting .200 at the time. I would suggest that poor performance like this is the most common underlying cause of a baseball brawl.
Felix Hernandez, the Mariners starting pitcher, had earlier bopped Ian Kinsler after Mr. Kinsler hit a home run. That was Mr. Hernandez’s second hit batsman of the night. It seemed likely that Mr. Gabbard might retaliate by plunking a Mariner. He did not; the pitch that angered Mr. Sexson was over the heart of the plate, but very, very high.
But facts shouldn’t get in the way of a good brawl. After the game, Mr. Sexson spouted some indignant bologna to reporters, to the general effect of “I don’t mind if he hits me, that’s part of the game, but throwing at the head shouldn’t be tolerated, and he threw at my head, don’t try to tell me he didn’t.” I encourage my readers to watch the video, and decide for yourself whether this pitch was aimed at Mr. Sexson’s head.
There’s always a postscript to a brawl
The next day, major league baseball announced suspensions and fines. Mr. Sexson, the instigator, was suspended for six games. Si.com speculated that the suspension was longer than it otherwise might have been because Mr. Sexson threw his helmet.[2] Of course, Mr. Sexson has appealed, effectively meaning that he may serve his suspension at his convenience – i.e., when the Mariners face weak opponents, when they'll be taking a long, boring road trip, or maybe just when Mr. Sexson needs a week off.
Three people were fined, not suspended. Felix Hernandez was fined, not for throwing at anyone, but for jabbering after the brawl, refusing to sit down, and generally running his mouth in order to escalate tensions. Gerald Laird was fined, too, for something I haven’t found out about.
The interesting fine was to Rangers pitcher Sir Sidney Ponson.[3] Now, one might suggest that Sidney Ponson should be fined simply for being Sidney Ponson. In 2004 Sir Sidney physically assaulted a judge in Aruba during a trial relating to reckless boating. In 2005, he was arrested in Maryland for DUI. In 2006, his ERA was above 7.0. The Rangers must have been truly desperate to hire this gentleman.
Having some knowledge of his background and his anger management skills, you are now well placed to evaluate Mr. Ponson’s postgame comments. He was fined for his actions at the brawlgame; Sports Illustrated says “Ponson left the bench and appeared to get in a shouting match with Hernandez.” Yet, Sir Sidney “vehemently” disagreed with his fine.
“"Felix said he was going to whip my (butt), and the umpire was in front of me. I didn't move. I just smiled. That's it -- and I'm getting fined,” said Sir Sidney. I can come to only one of two conclusions: (1) Sir Sidney is lying, or (2) Sir Sidney received his fine for the appearance of a shouting match, rather than for actual naughty actions. Either way, the Nachoman can offer but little sympathy.
The Nachoman is at a loss for words
I just cannot believe the classic instance of Manny being Manny in Baltimore on Wednesday. I mean, there’s video evidence and all, and this is Manny Ramirez we’re talking about, but my goodness…
There was one out. Remember, there was one out.
With two runners on base and running on the pitch, Mr. Ramirez made an excellent catch while running toward the wall in left-center field. The ball entered the glove about 25 feet from the fence. Manny kept running, kept running toward the wall, even though he already possessed the ball.
At the beginning of the play, there was one out. Remember, there was one out.
Manny leaped up onto the fence, presumably because he saw a young gentleman in a Red Sox jersey in the front row of the Camden Yards bleachers. Manny gave this gentleman a high-five, or at least an attempted high five.
Now there were two outs. Remember, now there were two outs.
TWO OUTS, Manny!
Smoothly, as if he had planned it all along, Mr. Ramirez fired a throw back to the infield… and in time to catch the runner from first for the third out.
I'm thinking that manager Terry Francona wanted simultaneously to hug and strangle Manny. In the immortal words of Dr. Seuss, now what would you do if it happened to you?
Clubhouse personae
Statistically minded baseball fans scoff at the concept of "clubhouse presence," but such a concept no doubt exists. The more relevant question is, how much money is it worth to carry a guy whose performance is subpar but whose "clubhouse presence" is excellent? (Answer, according to most sabermatricians: $0.) But what exactly is clubhouse presence, anyway? Consider Wednesday night's Thom Brennaman story about Ken Griffey. Mr. Junior lost a $1500 bet to teammate Josh Fogg, so he paid it… with 950 pounds of pennies placed in front of Mr. Fogg’s locker. Apparently Mr. Fogg had trouble even accessing his uniform that evening (I have not checked Mr. Brennaman's story for accuracy... I encourage one of my physics students to look up the density of a penny and to run these numbers to see how much $1500 of pennies really weigh.)
Maybe I don’t hate Dan LeBatard
While I enjoy Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon on Pardon The Interruption, I ignore any show in which the Miami Herald’s Dan LeBatard subs for one of the hosts. Mr. LeBatard is more obnoxious and ridiculously opinionated than even the standard PTI hosts.
Mr. LeBatard, who has been best known as a journalist for the Miami Herald, now is on leave from his newspaper job. He took the opportunity on his time off to give his thoughts about the old media vs. new media debate. The long, thoughtful essay was filled with clever metaphor, irony, possibly synecdoche, and maybe some other literary devices.[4]
It’s about time that a Legacy Journalist admitted some of the fundamental reasons that legacy journalists feel so threatened by blogs. Nice work, Mr. LeBatard. Now go start a blog. I’ll probably read a bit of it.
Bullpen madness
Will someone please tell me what Bobby Cox is doing with his bullpen?
Mr. Cox seems to use an average of two or three relief pitchers per inning. In my April 3 column, the Nachoman noted that Mr. Cox burned his bullpen in the 8th and 9th innings, forcing him to use inferior pitchers in what turned out to be an extra-inning loss. Several times last week, Mr. Cox put himself in a similar situation. For example, on Friday, Tom Glavine pitched seven solid innings for the Nachoman Quality Start. Then, in came:
· Royce Ring, for one batter.
· Blaine Boyer, for the rest of the 8th inning.
· Will Ohman, for one batter.
· Jeff Bennett, for a third of an inning, until he gave up the game winning hit.
I will note that when Mr. Glavine exited, the score was knotted at 2. I also will note that the previous night, starter Jo-Jo Reyes got roughed up, and so six relievers pitchers split the last six-plus innings.[5]
So, I ask, what would have happened had Mr. Bennett successfully finished the 9th inning on Friday? Who would have pitched the extra innings? Mr. Cox would have had to turn to tired and below-average relievers. Whereas, had he used his primary relievers for an inning or two each, he would have been well prepared for extra innings.
Now, don’t think the Nachoman is completely stupid.[6] I am familiar with the concept of the Lefthanded One Out Guy, also known as the LOOGY. I just think it’s not necessarily smart to use a LOOGY so frequently. Sure, in the bottom of the 8th with two outs, bases loaded, and Ted Williams at bat, I’d take out a tiring righthander for a LOOGY… but if the LOOGY failed to retire Mr. Williams, I’d let him continue to pitch to the next guy.
Other than that extreme situation, I don’t see the point. Platoon advantages[7] are especially real for lefthanded hitters, who hit about 9% better against righties than lefties. But righthanders hit only 20 points, or 2%, better against lefties than righties. I’d suggest that if your LOOGY is really good enough to be specially chosen to face the opposition’s best lefthanded hitter in a clutch situation, he’s also good enough to face the rest of the lineup. (I’ve already discussed most relievers’ observed difficulty throwing strikes when they first enter the game, so I won’t go into that here.)
Willie Randolph pulled a Bobby Cox
On Monday, Willie yoinked Scott Schoenweiss in the eighth with two outs after a good outing so that righty Joe Smith could face Jeff Keppinger with two men on and a 5 run lead.
Of course, Mr. Smith delivered three straight balls to Mr. Keppinger.
A powerful team
Which team has scored the highest percentage of their runs via the home run this year?
1. Florida, 49%. Wow! They play in one of the only three true pitchers’ parks in the majors! And yet, they have by far scored the biggest percentage of runs via the homer.
3. Cincinnati, 35%. This one might expect, in one of the best hitters’ parks ever, and with all-or-nothing sluggers like Adam Dunn and Ken Griffey populating the lineup.
Boris Badenov should be his catcher
(Click the link to hear the immortal line, "It's a Moon Moose!")
Burke Badenhop is a Marlins starter who joined the team as part of the Cabrera/Willis trade. Isn’t that one of the best names ever for a baseball pitcher? Right up there with Bob Walk, Grant Balfour…
On Monday night, the Reds beat the Marlins and Mr. Badenhop, 8-7. It was 8-4 until David Weathers did his thing; he made it 8-5. Francisco Cordero was brought in with two on and the 8-5 lead with two outs in the eighth. The Reds broadcast made a big deal that Mr. Cordero would thus be faced with -- gasp! -- a four-out save opportunity. The announcers’ bemusement reminded me of the time I visited a girlfriend’s family in Maine, and I wanted to dip crabmeat in butter. (They had never heard of such a heathen practice.) They humored the oddball, but kept commenting on how strange I was.
Mr. Cordero hit the first batter he faced; but then he got the fly ball he needed, to shallow right field. Ken Griffey came in, called off second baseman Brandon Phillips, and (gulp) DROPPED THE BALL. Two runs scored. I mean, this was a true drop, every bit as bad as the time I dropped the easy fly ball in 7th grade and earned a shouting from my coach. You don’t expect Ken Griffey to do that.
Or do you? A critical play in Sunday’s Reds game cost Johnny Cueto two runs: Ken Griffey and centerfielder Ryan Freel converged on the ball. Griffey appeared to have a bead on it, Mr. Freel peeled off… and then Mr. Griffey just stopped running. Who knows what verbal communication had passed between these outfielders, so it might not be fair to blame Mr. Griffey – but it was certainly he who had the easy play.
Back to Monday… Mr. Cordero, obviously angry at either Mr. Griffey or at the big, cruel universe in general, proceeded to walk the next Marlins hitter, loading the bases again, now with only an 8-7 lead. Then Mr. Cordero allowed a long, high fly ball to right center field. Mr. Griffey had to run for this one, a catch that should be tough but manageable for a professional right fielder. The ball hit Mr. Griffey’s outstretched glove. Then the ball came out, and every Reds fan groaned, knowing that the $20 million man had screwed up again… but finally, Mr. Griffey trapped the ball against his body with his bare hand, securing the catch and the 1-run lead. Whew.
Gotta love the defense from that corner outfield combination of Adam Dunn and Ken Griffey!
At least you’re not this guy
Air travel has become ever more uncomfortable and annoying. Flying JetBlue airlines is bliss, even though they don’t fly to most of the destinations that the Nachoman usually heads for. They offer substantial legroom, in-flight television (which is only really useful to me if the Nachoboy is with me, or if there’s a game on), and unlimited snacks and sodas. It's actually relaxing to fly JetBlue.
Unless you’re this guy, that is… according to this Associated Press story, a pilot told a standby passenger to “go hang out in the bathroom” during a flight because there wasn’t a seat for him.
Powerful hitting, or sketchy pitching?
Braves color man Joe Simpson noted that Ryan Howard hit a ball so hard that one could see a puff of rosin fly off the ball as it made contact with the bat. He showed (what I thought was inconclusive) video of the event in question. Mr. Simpson’s conclusion was that Mr. Howard is one heck of a hitter.
Couldn’t an alternate hypothesis be valid here, that the Braves pitcher had illegally dusted the ball with excess rosin?
I call bologna
In the “Cubs mailbag” on mlb.com, Carrie Muskat responded to a fan’s inquiry about the Wrigley Field out-of-town scoreboard. You see, in most ballparks the out-of-town scoreboard indicates each team’s pitcher-in-action by noting the pitcher’s uniform number. For example 39 CIN 3, 46 CHC 5 means that the Cubs lead the Reds 5-3; Cincinnati’s pitcher is #39 Aaron Harang, and the Cubs pitcher is #46 Ryan Dempster.
How is a fan supposed to know that #46 is Mr. Dempster? Two options: (1) Be obsessive enough to know the numbers of the league’s pitchers, or (2) buy a program, which helpfully lists each team’s pitchers by number.
Category (1) isn’t as farfetched as you might think. Fans who care enough to WANT to know who’s pitching might well know the numbers of at least pitchers who are important to them. For example, a fantasy baseball player might know the uniform numbers of the pitchers on his fantasy team. I certainly did when I used to play in a fantasy league.
A Cubs fan thus asked Ms. Muskat why the Wrigley scoreboard doesn’t identify pitchers by uniform number. Her response: “Wrigley's scoreboard uses numbers that coordinate with the program sold at the ballpark, and the pitchers are listed in alphabetical order. It's easier for the guys in the scoreboard to do it this way.”
Oh, I say! WHY, I ask, is it easier for guys in the scoreboard to identify pitchers alphabetically? Because they’re in the program alphabetically, of course. So, the scoreboard operators could print out mlb.com’s roster pages; or, the program could be printed by uniform number (as it is in every other ballpark I’ve bought a program in). Unless, that is, the Cubs are so desperately grubby that they are trying to create a situation in which serious fans find a need to buy an overpriced program…
Next Week...
The Nachoman runs out of the room in the middle of a physics demonstration to high-five his department chairman. It's just another instance of the Nachoman being the Nachoman.
[1] And yes, it is an APPEAL play when a runner fails to retouch a base on a caught batted ball.
[2] Here’s where I don’t get the logic. Does baseball want brawls or not? If the commissioner’s office doesn’t mind brawls, don’t publicly punish those involved. If the commissioner’s office wants to stamp out brawls for whatever reason, suspend Mr. Sexson for a month or two. Six games and a token fine just makes everyone angry without results.
[3] According to Wikipedia, this Aruba native was knighted in 2003 by the queen of the Netherlands. Good thing she didn’t wait until 2006 – keep reading.
[4] The AP English exam occurred on Wednesday. I’m celebrating.
[5] Once again, two of these pitchers each pitched to only one batter.
[6] This means you, Burrito Girl.
[7] If you’re not familiar with baseball jargon, a lefthanded pitcher gains a platoon advantage when he faces a lefthanded hitter.
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