Now that the Royals losing streak is at 12, I thought I'd turn things over to Joe Posnanski, the great KC Star columnist. Poz is supposed to be on leave all summer finishing a book, but he told his editor that he would come back to cover any long losing streaks the Royals had (Note: Whenever the Royals lose 10+ in a row Poz starts following the team and writing about it... brilliant, but depressing, stuff).
http://www.kansascity.com/180/story/642103.html
So anyway, there's the start of Poz's oddessy.
Also, the Burnt End Bomber found this little gem (also courtesy of Poznanski). This ran in the May 30 KC Star.
"There is a neat little program on the Internet called 'Win Expectancy
Finder' which lets you see how often a team has won or loss in just
about every situation between 1977 and 2006. In those30 years, this very
situation - home team up by five runs, runner on first, two outs in the
ninth - came up 826 times. The home team won, um 826 times. Until
Thursday night, when the Royals became the first team in over 30 years
to lose a game in that situation."
30 years! 30! Are you $%^* kidding me? (This is a family blog, right? I shouldn't right that probably).
The Bomber notes that the Royals starting shortstop, Tony Pena, is hitting .160 with a .190 OBP and a .200 slugging percentage. Bomber wants to call him Tony "Mendoza line" Pena, but I don't think that's fair to Mendoza, who at least could hit his weight.
A few years ago I started a post by banging my head on the keyboard. If the streak hits 15, we'll be back to that again.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
By the Ribbie Reporter - Two box scores in one day
Mike Aviles made his major league debut for the Royals Thursday. In true Kansas City fashion, he went 0-3. But what makes Mr. Aviles really special is that he managed to appear in two box scores today. Wednesday afternoon, the Omaha Royals, KC's AAA affiliate, had a game suspended because of a hydrochloric acid leak.[1] Aviles started that game for the O-Royals. But Thursday morning he was called up and reported to Kauffman Stadium for his debut. Thursday afternoon, the acid cloud had cleared and the O-Royals finished their game, using, one presumes, a new shortstop.
So there you have it… Mike Aviles played in two games for two teams on the same day. Now if only he hits as well in the majors as he did in AAA.
In other news the Royals are awful again
Since 2006, the Royals have had FOUR – I repeat FOUR – losing streaks that were 11 games or longer. The rest of the MLB has had two such streaks during that time. [2] The Royals are currently mired in one of these streaks. So yeah, it’s become something of an art form in Kansas City.
They were no-hit by Jon Lester. They were mocked by Charles Barkley. They let Justin Masterson, a AA call-up, beat them easily. They let Bartolo Colon, who’s twice the man he used to be (and I mean that literally) beat them in his first start of the year. And on Thursday night they handed Kevin Slowey[3] his first complete game in the majors. Only a pair of 9th inning doubles prevented a shutout.
The low point probably came during Wednesday’s 9-8 loss when – after Zach Greinke pitched eight innings and left with an 8-3 lead, two relievers coughed it all back up in the 9th. Ramon Ramirez surrounded a single with two strikeouts. But then three more singles chased him from the game and brought on Joel Peralta. He served up three straight balls to Craig Monroe. (for the love of [name your deity] why do pitchers not just throw strikes early in the count?) Not wanting to walk the bases loaded, he started sailing the ball down the middle. Monroe watched one and then swung and missed the next. By try number three, he had the range dialed in and deposited the tying homer over the wall.
Perhaps feeling that Mr. Peralta hadn’t had enough fun, Manager Trey Hillman let him start the 10th, and he promptly served up another homer to Justin Morneau. Closer Joakim Soria, who has given up something like five hits so far this season, was apparently unavailable because he had been forced to pitch two innings in the previous night’s extra inning defeat.[4]
The Royals, of course, went quietly in both the 9th and 10th.
Everyone knows they can’t hit. After 54 games they’ve been outscored by 59 runs. They’ve been shutout six times and scored one run another nine times. The pathetic lineups are averaging less than 3.6 runs per game and have a collective OPS+ of 82.[5] The team’s batting average is middle of the pack, but the Royals are last in the American League in home runs and walks. So they hit lots of singles, which doesn’t tend to help you score many runs. And though Manager Trey Hillman wants the team to steal more bases, they have a pathetic 60 percent success rate.[6] Yup, you can always count on the Royals to find a new way to lose.
My favorite victory call
And the Royals go quietly in the 9th. [Fill-in the blank] wins.
[1] Huh!?!
[2] One by the Mariners and one by the Pirates.
[3] He has a whopping 101.1 career innings pitched.
[4] OK, I lied. He’s actually given up seven hits and his ERA has skyrocketed up to 0.86 when I wasn’t looking.
[5] OPS+ measures how a teams On-base% + slugging % compares to the league average (which is set at 100 for each year). So the Royals have an OPS that is 82 percent of the league’s average. This stat is useful for comparing how players and teams did respective to their era. For example, the best OPS in 1968 – the year of Bob Gibson’s 1.12 ERA, might have only been .750, which would be about average today. But the OPS+ for that 1968 mark would be quite high because nobody else could get any hits. Anyway, this is just another way of explaining that the Royals can’t hit for beans.
[6] 29 stolen bases and caught stealing 19 times. Oy.
So there you have it… Mike Aviles played in two games for two teams on the same day. Now if only he hits as well in the majors as he did in AAA.
In other news the Royals are awful again
Since 2006, the Royals have had FOUR – I repeat FOUR – losing streaks that were 11 games or longer. The rest of the MLB has had two such streaks during that time. [2] The Royals are currently mired in one of these streaks. So yeah, it’s become something of an art form in Kansas City.
They were no-hit by Jon Lester. They were mocked by Charles Barkley. They let Justin Masterson, a AA call-up, beat them easily. They let Bartolo Colon, who’s twice the man he used to be (and I mean that literally) beat them in his first start of the year. And on Thursday night they handed Kevin Slowey[3] his first complete game in the majors. Only a pair of 9th inning doubles prevented a shutout.
The low point probably came during Wednesday’s 9-8 loss when – after Zach Greinke pitched eight innings and left with an 8-3 lead, two relievers coughed it all back up in the 9th. Ramon Ramirez surrounded a single with two strikeouts. But then three more singles chased him from the game and brought on Joel Peralta. He served up three straight balls to Craig Monroe. (for the love of [name your deity] why do pitchers not just throw strikes early in the count?) Not wanting to walk the bases loaded, he started sailing the ball down the middle. Monroe watched one and then swung and missed the next. By try number three, he had the range dialed in and deposited the tying homer over the wall.
Perhaps feeling that Mr. Peralta hadn’t had enough fun, Manager Trey Hillman let him start the 10th, and he promptly served up another homer to Justin Morneau. Closer Joakim Soria, who has given up something like five hits so far this season, was apparently unavailable because he had been forced to pitch two innings in the previous night’s extra inning defeat.[4]
The Royals, of course, went quietly in both the 9th and 10th.
Everyone knows they can’t hit. After 54 games they’ve been outscored by 59 runs. They’ve been shutout six times and scored one run another nine times. The pathetic lineups are averaging less than 3.6 runs per game and have a collective OPS+ of 82.[5] The team’s batting average is middle of the pack, but the Royals are last in the American League in home runs and walks. So they hit lots of singles, which doesn’t tend to help you score many runs. And though Manager Trey Hillman wants the team to steal more bases, they have a pathetic 60 percent success rate.[6] Yup, you can always count on the Royals to find a new way to lose.
My favorite victory call
And the Royals go quietly in the 9th. [Fill-in the blank] wins.
[1] Huh!?!
[2] One by the Mariners and one by the Pirates.
[3] He has a whopping 101.1 career innings pitched.
[4] OK, I lied. He’s actually given up seven hits and his ERA has skyrocketed up to 0.86 when I wasn’t looking.
[5] OPS+ measures how a teams On-base% + slugging % compares to the league average (which is set at 100 for each year). So the Royals have an OPS that is 82 percent of the league’s average. This stat is useful for comparing how players and teams did respective to their era. For example, the best OPS in 1968 – the year of Bob Gibson’s 1.12 ERA, might have only been .750, which would be about average today. But the OPS+ for that 1968 mark would be quite high because nobody else could get any hits. Anyway, this is just another way of explaining that the Royals can’t hit for beans.
[6] 29 stolen bases and caught stealing 19 times. Oy.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Who’s your favorite center fielder?
Rangers fans will throw their support behind Josh Hamilton, whose OPS over 1.000 and 13 homers through the first third of the season have given northeast Texas baseball fans someone to root for for the first time since Sir Nolan put Robin Ventura in the hospital with multiple noogies. Shortsighted Reds fans keep flooding message boards with “oy, what could have been if we had kept Mr. Hamilton” sentiments. What could have been? I’ll tell you what could have been, Josh Fogg would have been giving up 7 runs per start every five days because the team would never have acquired Edinson Volquez, and the Reds would have been in last place.[1]
Reds fans will vote for Jay Bruce, his 1.300 OPS through his first week in the big leagues, and his ability to remove the vacant looks from Adam Dunn’s and Ken Griffey’s faces. But had Hamilton still been on the team, Jay Bruce would still be toiling in the minor leagues without a spot in the Great American outfield. The Volquez-Hamilton trade for this year gave both teams exactly what they needed. Long term, I still suspect that the Reds got the better end of the deal… Mr. Volquez has a long career ahead of him if he can learn to pitch deeper into games without throwing out his arm. Mr. Hamilton’s possible downside is that he took three years off while putting Bob knows what drugs into his body, and we’re not talking steroids here. He’s 27 now, and he could well have a long career; however, I think his long-term risk justifies the acquisition of the young pitcher.
Cubs fans might well vote for Kosuke Fukudome.[2] I watched just one Cubs game last week, the Tuesday night clash with the Dodgers. Mr. Fukudome reached base three of four times and drove in a critical insurance run. More to the point, he made two amazing plays in the outfield. The Cubs scored three in the 7th inning to go ahead 3-1. In came Carlos Marmol, who promptly walked the leadoff batter. Juan Pierre next crushed a line drive deep into the right-center field gap with the outfielders playing in. Considering Mr. Pierre’s speed, that ball could have scored a run, and put the tying run on third with no one out. But here came Mr. Fukudome, sprinting along a precise route to where the ball would have fallen had a merely average defender been patrolling. And though that was the most critical play that Mr. Fukudome made Tuesday night, it wasn’t the most impressive: he also had a diving catch on a softly hit liner.
Cubs fan Deep Dish asked me several times during this game: Why isn’t Fukudome playing center field? Take a look at the Cubs lineup page. While most other positions have been reasonably settled, the Cubs have alternated center field between Felix Pie (who can’t hit), Reed Johnson (who can’t hit), and recent acquisition Jim Edmonds (who is a member of AARP). Deep Dish wants Mr. Fukudome in center, and he wants to find a good hitting Adam Dunn-type for right. I can’t argue with the man’s logic.
Who’s YOUR favorite third baseman?
Here was an online poll in which the Nachoman participated:
If you were starting a team and could have any third baseman (considering both hitting and fielding), who would you want?
(A) Chipper Jones
(B) Alex Rodriguez
(C) David Wright
(D) Ryan Zimmerman
(E) Edwin Encarnacion
Ha ha, just kidding there about (E), fellow Reds fan. Anyway, I chose Mr. Wright…I’d take the 25 year old over the 36 year old to start a franchise any day, even if said 36 year old is hitting .420 through 50 games. I think that one’s a no-brainer. However, the most popular choice, by a truly enormous margin, was Chipper. What happened, did those surveyed have to ingest a strong drink before voting?
No, I took the survey on ajc.com, home of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. The results were the opinions of Braves fans, who naturally have a blind spot in their logic where the home team is concerned. For more on Braves Bias, see below.
I’m mainly amused by their commercials
Thursday night, during the Dodgers-Reds game, I saw an ad for farmersonly.com, an online dating service. The ad showed lonely farmer babes strolling through sun kissed fields in straw hats, then showed the same farmer babes line dancing. Subsequently, caricatures of the famous pitchfork picture .[3] characters talked about how “city folks just don’t get it.”
Having checked out the website and read the letter from the founder, I am thoroughly supportive of the principle behind farmersonly. Farmers generally live a more isolated existence than city dwellers, and they can’t just hop down to the nightclub or the pub four nights a week – among other problems, they have to be up to milk the goats in the morning. Beyond practical considerations, how many people who use a typical online dating service know anything about a farmer’s lifestyle, let alone might be willing to enter into a serious relationship with a farmer? This site provides a useful service.
But oh boy, are the ads howlers… take a look below.
Afterword
I’ll note that I wrote the item above BEFORE this site was featured on TheBigLead Wednesday. I do occasionally find my own material.
Rim shot, please
The Padres wore their camouflage uniforms on Sunday afternoon against the Reds. It made Greg Maddux’s fastball all the more deceptive because no one could see him.
Where I disagree with the sabermatricians’ bottom line
Two entrenched camps of experienced baseball people disagree about how, primarily, to evaluate players. The “Old Baseball Men” camp, represented in the national media by Joe Morgan and a host of curmudgeonly newspaper columnists, evaluates primarily by means of anecdotal and visual evidence combined with firsthand observation. The newer “sabermetrician” camp, represented by Bill James and his disciples, including those at Firejoemorgan.com, evaluates primarily by means of statistics.
Oakland’s Billy Beane and Boston’s Theo Epstein have shown the effectiveness of sabermetric[4] analysis; however, a good general manager’s methods generally fall somewhere in between the two extremes.
You’ll find that the Nachoman’s sympathies lie with the revolutionaries. I am not frightened of mathematics (an affliction which underlies much of the Joe Morgan-style statistics bashing). Since I don’t have the time or access to visually evaluate each player I want to know about, I rely on universally available data. (I think prominent sabermetricians might be more sympathetic to firsthand scouting if they had the opportunity and access to do some of their own scouting.) Though my own general managing experience is limited to running the Electric Marshmallows of the Injustice League, I’ve done rather well for myself based primarily on statistical analysis.
A fundamental thesis of sabermetrics is that “clubhouse chemistry” is irrelevant to team performance. Either a guy can hit, or he cannot; a group hug is not part of the arrangement. Sabermetricians continually deride grumpy columnists who sing the praises of the “gritty” David Eckstein and disparage the “aloof” Alex Rodriguez. And no wonder: though Mr. Eckstein is obviously guy you’d rather have a beer with after the game, fact is his career OPS[5] is a below-average .711. And though Mr. Rodriguez seems to be a brooding megalomaniac whenever his PR assistant takes the day off, his career OPS is an incredible .965 over twice as many seasons. Here’s where anyone with a brain[6] would be happy to take Mr. Rodriguez on his or her team, team chemistry issues be danged.
However…
I think there is more legitimacy to the clubhouse chemistry argument than do most folks of a mathematical bent. Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds, and Roger Clemens can get away with being jerks or negative leaders, because, well, they are Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds, and Roger Clemens. But is it really worth keeping, say, a Milton Bradley or Shea Hillenbrand around? Both these guys have long histories of troublemaking, but are average or just above-average career hitters. Mr. Hillenbrand, for example, famously culminated months of dissent by writing “This is a sinking ship” on a clubhouse bulletin board, followed by sentiments like “Play for yourself.” Certainly professional athletes can choose whether or not to pay attention to such mantras. But poisoning – or, contrariwise, enriching – the job environment had got to be worth something.
Think about your own job. If you’re anyone I want to hire, you’re going to do your job well regardless of whether your co-workers are inspiring, dull, or actively obnoxious. That said, think of how much better your output when your co-workers are friendly and supportive. I don’t care whether you’re a ballplayer, a custodian, a teacher, or a student, you produce superior work when you’re comfortable and confident.
Now, before you pooh-pooh my belief in chemistry, ask yourself: What is the job of a baseball MANAGER? Is it incumbent upon him to motivate millionaire players with little financial incentive to perform well on the field? Well, yes… the manager makes strategic decisions, but his success or lack thereof is often determined by his handling of personnel issues.
So, if the manager can influence outcomes by improving the team’s working environment, why can’t teammates exert similar influence? No one is suggesting that a manager or teammates can turn Edwin Encarnacion into Brooks Robinson. But numerous positive influences *might* be able to convince him to make adjustments to his swing that he might have been too stubborn or lazy to attempt. Competition from other fiery players might make him realize that he’s not the only person in the organization who can hit .240 with 9 errors, spurring him to redouble his efforts. Who knows whether a player’s efforts are truly maxed out until he is challenged? And, I suggest that there is in fact a type of player whose addition to a roster challenges his teammates to consider whether or not they are, in fact, doing everything in their power to help the team. Such influence can’t make up for pathetic baseball ability… but given two somewhat similar ballplayers, give me the one with positive chemistry but slightly worse numbers any day.
Evidence of strong clubhouse chemistry
Though I can’t give credit to an individual, I note that the Reds seem to be having fun recently. A strong homestand two weeks ago led to last week’s difficult road trip. In the last game of that trip, on getaway day in San Diego, the bullpen blew leads in both the 9th and the 12th innings. With the last reliever in the ballgame, Dusty Baker looked at his bench – there sat every starting pitcher, spikes on, begging for the chance to enter the game. Highly paid starters Bronson Arroyo and Aaron Harang had every right to head to the clubhouse, or at least to ask not to pitch. Young superstar Edinson Volquez could easily have argued that he didn’t want to blow out his fragile arm. But, all were there, ready to go. Mr. Volquez gave his reasons later: “I’m tired of losing.” Unfortunately, the Reds lost that game in 18 innings.
Two days later, after a long and depressing cross-country flight and an off day, the team made some transactions. Yet another enthusiastic rookie was called up from AAA. Jay Bruce, widely considered the best outfield prospect on any minor league team, arrived to replace the .200 hitting Corey Patterson. Veterans Adam Dunn and Ken Griffey were pleased to see the newbie. They engaged in low-grade, friendly hazing – after getting on base five times in his debut, Mr. Bruce got a pie-in-the face during his postgame interview; Dunn and Griffey repeatedly gave Mr. Bruce incorrect instructions about pregame protocol. Mr. Bruce took all of this with a smile… and maybe, just maybe, I thought I saw Adam Dunn moving a little more quickly than usual when he chased a ball in left field.
Pot calls kettle black
Si.com headline Thursday: “Tank Johnson tells commish: 'Let Pacman play' ”
Reds fans will vote for Jay Bruce, his 1.300 OPS through his first week in the big leagues, and his ability to remove the vacant looks from Adam Dunn’s and Ken Griffey’s faces. But had Hamilton still been on the team, Jay Bruce would still be toiling in the minor leagues without a spot in the Great American outfield. The Volquez-Hamilton trade for this year gave both teams exactly what they needed. Long term, I still suspect that the Reds got the better end of the deal… Mr. Volquez has a long career ahead of him if he can learn to pitch deeper into games without throwing out his arm. Mr. Hamilton’s possible downside is that he took three years off while putting Bob knows what drugs into his body, and we’re not talking steroids here. He’s 27 now, and he could well have a long career; however, I think his long-term risk justifies the acquisition of the young pitcher.
Cubs fans might well vote for Kosuke Fukudome.[2] I watched just one Cubs game last week, the Tuesday night clash with the Dodgers. Mr. Fukudome reached base three of four times and drove in a critical insurance run. More to the point, he made two amazing plays in the outfield. The Cubs scored three in the 7th inning to go ahead 3-1. In came Carlos Marmol, who promptly walked the leadoff batter. Juan Pierre next crushed a line drive deep into the right-center field gap with the outfielders playing in. Considering Mr. Pierre’s speed, that ball could have scored a run, and put the tying run on third with no one out. But here came Mr. Fukudome, sprinting along a precise route to where the ball would have fallen had a merely average defender been patrolling. And though that was the most critical play that Mr. Fukudome made Tuesday night, it wasn’t the most impressive: he also had a diving catch on a softly hit liner.
Cubs fan Deep Dish asked me several times during this game: Why isn’t Fukudome playing center field? Take a look at the Cubs lineup page. While most other positions have been reasonably settled, the Cubs have alternated center field between Felix Pie (who can’t hit), Reed Johnson (who can’t hit), and recent acquisition Jim Edmonds (who is a member of AARP). Deep Dish wants Mr. Fukudome in center, and he wants to find a good hitting Adam Dunn-type for right. I can’t argue with the man’s logic.
Who’s YOUR favorite third baseman?
Here was an online poll in which the Nachoman participated:
If you were starting a team and could have any third baseman (considering both hitting and fielding), who would you want?
(A) Chipper Jones
(B) Alex Rodriguez
(C) David Wright
(D) Ryan Zimmerman
(E) Edwin Encarnacion
Ha ha, just kidding there about (E), fellow Reds fan. Anyway, I chose Mr. Wright…I’d take the 25 year old over the 36 year old to start a franchise any day, even if said 36 year old is hitting .420 through 50 games. I think that one’s a no-brainer. However, the most popular choice, by a truly enormous margin, was Chipper. What happened, did those surveyed have to ingest a strong drink before voting?
No, I took the survey on ajc.com, home of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. The results were the opinions of Braves fans, who naturally have a blind spot in their logic where the home team is concerned. For more on Braves Bias, see below.
I’m mainly amused by their commercials
Thursday night, during the Dodgers-Reds game, I saw an ad for farmersonly.com, an online dating service. The ad showed lonely farmer babes strolling through sun kissed fields in straw hats, then showed the same farmer babes line dancing. Subsequently, caricatures of the famous pitchfork picture .[3] characters talked about how “city folks just don’t get it.”
Having checked out the website and read the letter from the founder, I am thoroughly supportive of the principle behind farmersonly. Farmers generally live a more isolated existence than city dwellers, and they can’t just hop down to the nightclub or the pub four nights a week – among other problems, they have to be up to milk the goats in the morning. Beyond practical considerations, how many people who use a typical online dating service know anything about a farmer’s lifestyle, let alone might be willing to enter into a serious relationship with a farmer? This site provides a useful service.
But oh boy, are the ads howlers… take a look below.
Afterword
I’ll note that I wrote the item above BEFORE this site was featured on TheBigLead Wednesday. I do occasionally find my own material.
Rim shot, please
The Padres wore their camouflage uniforms on Sunday afternoon against the Reds. It made Greg Maddux’s fastball all the more deceptive because no one could see him.
Where I disagree with the sabermatricians’ bottom line
Two entrenched camps of experienced baseball people disagree about how, primarily, to evaluate players. The “Old Baseball Men” camp, represented in the national media by Joe Morgan and a host of curmudgeonly newspaper columnists, evaluates primarily by means of anecdotal and visual evidence combined with firsthand observation. The newer “sabermetrician” camp, represented by Bill James and his disciples, including those at Firejoemorgan.com, evaluates primarily by means of statistics.
Oakland’s Billy Beane and Boston’s Theo Epstein have shown the effectiveness of sabermetric[4] analysis; however, a good general manager’s methods generally fall somewhere in between the two extremes.
You’ll find that the Nachoman’s sympathies lie with the revolutionaries. I am not frightened of mathematics (an affliction which underlies much of the Joe Morgan-style statistics bashing). Since I don’t have the time or access to visually evaluate each player I want to know about, I rely on universally available data. (I think prominent sabermetricians might be more sympathetic to firsthand scouting if they had the opportunity and access to do some of their own scouting.) Though my own general managing experience is limited to running the Electric Marshmallows of the Injustice League, I’ve done rather well for myself based primarily on statistical analysis.
A fundamental thesis of sabermetrics is that “clubhouse chemistry” is irrelevant to team performance. Either a guy can hit, or he cannot; a group hug is not part of the arrangement. Sabermetricians continually deride grumpy columnists who sing the praises of the “gritty” David Eckstein and disparage the “aloof” Alex Rodriguez. And no wonder: though Mr. Eckstein is obviously guy you’d rather have a beer with after the game, fact is his career OPS[5] is a below-average .711. And though Mr. Rodriguez seems to be a brooding megalomaniac whenever his PR assistant takes the day off, his career OPS is an incredible .965 over twice as many seasons. Here’s where anyone with a brain[6] would be happy to take Mr. Rodriguez on his or her team, team chemistry issues be danged.
However…
I think there is more legitimacy to the clubhouse chemistry argument than do most folks of a mathematical bent. Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds, and Roger Clemens can get away with being jerks or negative leaders, because, well, they are Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds, and Roger Clemens. But is it really worth keeping, say, a Milton Bradley or Shea Hillenbrand around? Both these guys have long histories of troublemaking, but are average or just above-average career hitters. Mr. Hillenbrand, for example, famously culminated months of dissent by writing “This is a sinking ship” on a clubhouse bulletin board, followed by sentiments like “Play for yourself.” Certainly professional athletes can choose whether or not to pay attention to such mantras. But poisoning – or, contrariwise, enriching – the job environment had got to be worth something.
Think about your own job. If you’re anyone I want to hire, you’re going to do your job well regardless of whether your co-workers are inspiring, dull, or actively obnoxious. That said, think of how much better your output when your co-workers are friendly and supportive. I don’t care whether you’re a ballplayer, a custodian, a teacher, or a student, you produce superior work when you’re comfortable and confident.
Now, before you pooh-pooh my belief in chemistry, ask yourself: What is the job of a baseball MANAGER? Is it incumbent upon him to motivate millionaire players with little financial incentive to perform well on the field? Well, yes… the manager makes strategic decisions, but his success or lack thereof is often determined by his handling of personnel issues.
So, if the manager can influence outcomes by improving the team’s working environment, why can’t teammates exert similar influence? No one is suggesting that a manager or teammates can turn Edwin Encarnacion into Brooks Robinson. But numerous positive influences *might* be able to convince him to make adjustments to his swing that he might have been too stubborn or lazy to attempt. Competition from other fiery players might make him realize that he’s not the only person in the organization who can hit .240 with 9 errors, spurring him to redouble his efforts. Who knows whether a player’s efforts are truly maxed out until he is challenged? And, I suggest that there is in fact a type of player whose addition to a roster challenges his teammates to consider whether or not they are, in fact, doing everything in their power to help the team. Such influence can’t make up for pathetic baseball ability… but given two somewhat similar ballplayers, give me the one with positive chemistry but slightly worse numbers any day.
Evidence of strong clubhouse chemistry
Though I can’t give credit to an individual, I note that the Reds seem to be having fun recently. A strong homestand two weeks ago led to last week’s difficult road trip. In the last game of that trip, on getaway day in San Diego, the bullpen blew leads in both the 9th and the 12th innings. With the last reliever in the ballgame, Dusty Baker looked at his bench – there sat every starting pitcher, spikes on, begging for the chance to enter the game. Highly paid starters Bronson Arroyo and Aaron Harang had every right to head to the clubhouse, or at least to ask not to pitch. Young superstar Edinson Volquez could easily have argued that he didn’t want to blow out his fragile arm. But, all were there, ready to go. Mr. Volquez gave his reasons later: “I’m tired of losing.” Unfortunately, the Reds lost that game in 18 innings.
Two days later, after a long and depressing cross-country flight and an off day, the team made some transactions. Yet another enthusiastic rookie was called up from AAA. Jay Bruce, widely considered the best outfield prospect on any minor league team, arrived to replace the .200 hitting Corey Patterson. Veterans Adam Dunn and Ken Griffey were pleased to see the newbie. They engaged in low-grade, friendly hazing – after getting on base five times in his debut, Mr. Bruce got a pie-in-the face during his postgame interview; Dunn and Griffey repeatedly gave Mr. Bruce incorrect instructions about pregame protocol. Mr. Bruce took all of this with a smile… and maybe, just maybe, I thought I saw Adam Dunn moving a little more quickly than usual when he chased a ball in left field.
Pot calls kettle black
Si.com headline Thursday: “Tank Johnson tells commish: 'Let Pacman play' ”
The natural sequel...
OJ Simpson tells commish, "Pacman is innocent. Like me, dontcheknow."
Greg Maddux does everything right, even the little things
The Padres put the shift on against Ken Griffey, putting three infielders to the first base side, only one to the third base side. On the first pitch, Mr. Griffey squared around to bunt. As the pitch crossed the plate, Greg Maddux had taken three steps toward the third base line, already ready for the bunt.
He’s not Barry Bonds, he’s Babe Ruth
Greg Maddux gets major credit from the Nachoman for being the best pitcher in the history of baseball… I make that claim based not only on the numbers he put up, but because his prime coincided with the heart of the Steroid Era. He maintained 1910-like pitching numbers while the players’ biceps were as big as Mr. Maddux’s head.
I’ve also noted before that Mr. Maddux has never been in the least associated with any sort of muscle-building illicit substances. Yet, in his late career, Mr. Maddux has gotten considerably larger. Look at the pictures below: on the left, 2008, on the right, circa 1989… the difference here is, Mr. Maddux’s gains have been around the belly, not in the biceps. Maybe the pudgy beer belly is symptomatic of the Babe Ruth Fitness Program.
He’s not Barry Bonds, he’s Babe Ruth
Greg Maddux gets major credit from the Nachoman for being the best pitcher in the history of baseball… I make that claim based not only on the numbers he put up, but because his prime coincided with the heart of the Steroid Era. He maintained 1910-like pitching numbers while the players’ biceps were as big as Mr. Maddux’s head.
I’ve also noted before that Mr. Maddux has never been in the least associated with any sort of muscle-building illicit substances. Yet, in his late career, Mr. Maddux has gotten considerably larger. Look at the pictures below: on the left, 2008, on the right, circa 1989… the difference here is, Mr. Maddux’s gains have been around the belly, not in the biceps. Maybe the pudgy beer belly is symptomatic of the Babe Ruth Fitness Program.
More wishful thinking from a Braves fan
I got this email on Monday – the day after the Reds 18 inning loss – from Ted Malinowski, an excellent varsity baseball player, a strong physics student, and an Atlanta Braves fan:
“Since the Reds struggles have seemed to come out of the pen (even starters like Volquez out of the pen), you might think about writing an email to the Reds' GM making sure that he understands that the Braves not only have one of the best 'pens from top to bottom right now number-wise, but it is also only about to get stronger and over populated. Three proven closers are returning to the Braves' pen in the next couple of weeks:
-Smoltz - coming back from DL stint with a new armslot which puts little or no stress on his shoulder, and, most importantly, the same mid-90s velocity and even better slider.
-Soriano - turns out he didn't need Tommy-John surgery. Just a sore elbow, and now that rehab is finished (basically, pending on successful or not successful session on mound today), he is coming back with his mid-90s fastball, low-80s change, and good breaking pitches.
-Gonzalez - traded for Adam Laroche two offseasons ago, got Tommy John surgery. Before he was hurt, he lead the Pirates in saves, and, more importantly, blew fewer than 4 saves in his last season ('06). He is a proven closer with a live arm, which is feeling good and looking better.
The Braves are also looking for a solid starter wherever they can find one, in a three way deal maybe, or possibly Edinson Volquez. He has done a decent job this year from what I have seen. Just possibilities, but the Braves are looking for a starter to hold down the bottom half of the rotation. With Glavine not having his stereotypical "consistant" year, the Braves are really only counting on 2 consistent starters every game, Jair Jurrens (having a very solid year, ERA in the top 10 in the NL), and Tim Hudson (having a good year, found his changeup again, a pitch that was his go to pitch in Oakland and has deserted him in Atlanta).”
My response to Ted:
"The Reds bullpen has actually improved dramatically this year over last. I no longer cringe when the pen comes in. Sunday was their first true collapse... the only reason they used Harang and Volquez in long relief was because the game went 18 innings. (And THAT was because David Weathers, whom the Braves may have for a dozen donuts, and Francisco Cordero gave up home runs in the eighth and ninth innings.)"
Of course, this is wishful thinking on the part of my friend the Braves fan… the Reds traded away Josh Hamilton, their best outfielder and former #1 overall draft choice, for Edinson Volquez. Mr. Volquez hasn’t just done a “decent job this year,” he’s leading the National League in ERA and owns nearly 30% of Reds wins. I think the Reds will be keeping him unless they’re offered, say, Chipper Jones and Jair Jurrjens in a package deal.
I got this email on Monday – the day after the Reds 18 inning loss – from Ted Malinowski, an excellent varsity baseball player, a strong physics student, and an Atlanta Braves fan:
“Since the Reds struggles have seemed to come out of the pen (even starters like Volquez out of the pen), you might think about writing an email to the Reds' GM making sure that he understands that the Braves not only have one of the best 'pens from top to bottom right now number-wise, but it is also only about to get stronger and over populated. Three proven closers are returning to the Braves' pen in the next couple of weeks:
-Smoltz - coming back from DL stint with a new armslot which puts little or no stress on his shoulder, and, most importantly, the same mid-90s velocity and even better slider.
-Soriano - turns out he didn't need Tommy-John surgery. Just a sore elbow, and now that rehab is finished (basically, pending on successful or not successful session on mound today), he is coming back with his mid-90s fastball, low-80s change, and good breaking pitches.
-Gonzalez - traded for Adam Laroche two offseasons ago, got Tommy John surgery. Before he was hurt, he lead the Pirates in saves, and, more importantly, blew fewer than 4 saves in his last season ('06). He is a proven closer with a live arm, which is feeling good and looking better.
The Braves are also looking for a solid starter wherever they can find one, in a three way deal maybe, or possibly Edinson Volquez. He has done a decent job this year from what I have seen. Just possibilities, but the Braves are looking for a starter to hold down the bottom half of the rotation. With Glavine not having his stereotypical "consistant" year, the Braves are really only counting on 2 consistent starters every game, Jair Jurrens (having a very solid year, ERA in the top 10 in the NL), and Tim Hudson (having a good year, found his changeup again, a pitch that was his go to pitch in Oakland and has deserted him in Atlanta).”
My response to Ted:
"The Reds bullpen has actually improved dramatically this year over last. I no longer cringe when the pen comes in. Sunday was their first true collapse... the only reason they used Harang and Volquez in long relief was because the game went 18 innings. (And THAT was because David Weathers, whom the Braves may have for a dozen donuts, and Francisco Cordero gave up home runs in the eighth and ninth innings.)"
Of course, this is wishful thinking on the part of my friend the Braves fan… the Reds traded away Josh Hamilton, their best outfielder and former #1 overall draft choice, for Edinson Volquez. Mr. Volquez hasn’t just done a “decent job this year,” he’s leading the National League in ERA and owns nearly 30% of Reds wins. I think the Reds will be keeping him unless they’re offered, say, Chipper Jones and Jair Jurrjens in a package deal.
Ooh, ooh, I wonder if that's possible... now THAT would be a sweet deal, says the Reds fan.
Now HERE are the corporate titans that need to be boiled in beezlenut oil
I’ve never been a huge fan of the NCAA, but not for many of the typical reasons espoused by sports media types. I don’t really object to the commercialization of college sports – if YOU could make money hand over fist like the NCAA does, you would. I enjoy the BCS, the NCAA basketball tournament, and the College World Series, despite their numerous flaws. I have serious objections to the sanctimonious hypocrisy every time I watch an ad in which the NCAA claims to be about education rather than about fleecing sports fans for every cent they might be willing to give up; however, I also understand the public relations necessity of running such ads.
That said, I was unaware just how far over the line between “money grubbing” and “evil” the NCAA had stepped. It’s bad that tickets to big events such as the final four are essentially unavailable to the general public – most are gladhanded to corporate sponsors, NCAA executives, and other “important” people. Bad, yes, but not truly evil… presumably the NCAA sees it in their long term interest to shut out the common fan. The common fan has every right simply not to go, or not to watch. College sports are a very, very hot product, which the NCAA may market as they see fit.
I found out yesterday just how tickets to the final four are distributed to the general public. Fans must enter a lottery for the few available tickets. That they should have a lottery is certainly not evil… it’s merely the NCAA’s choice of how to distribute a rare product in high demand. I don’t even know the price of tickets, but they could be $1000 a piece, and I would not object.[7]
The evil comes in the requirements for the lottery:
1. All tickets must be paid in advance, including a $10 “service charge.”
2. The lottery is actually held many months after the money-due deadline.
3. Those who win get tickets; those who lose have ticket money refunded.
4. The service charge is nonrefundable, whether the applicant wins or not.
5. Each person my submit up to 10 applications.
6. No one may know precisely how many tickets are available, nor the approximate odds of winning.
What this boils down to is illegal gambling: for $10 plus a multiple-month interest-free loan of probably close to $100, you may have the chance to win a product of value. At least, that’s the contention of a California law firm. They have filed suit in California – where lotteries are illegal except those run by the state or a charity – to reclaim damages to the zillions of fans who have been fleeced by this scheme, plus, I’m sure, to pocket significant lawyer fees.
Oh, wait, that’s just how college admission works!
Send in an application with a $50 “service fee” for a chance to win the right to pay tens of thousand a year in pursuit of an academic degree. The odds of winning are not disclosed ahead of time.
Maybe they’re going to have to expand the famous pamphlet from Airplane
The Nachoman’s brother-in-law Joe Nacho and the Nachograndpa revel in great performances by Jewish athletes. They, and, apparently, Jews nationwide, are agog by the potential of Jewish MVPs in both leagues. Ryan Braun and Kevin Youkilis both have legitimate credentials as Children of Israel. While I find this combination of MVPs unlikely, and I am a bit less inclined than my relatives to root for players based on their ethnicity (though I admit that makes as much sense as rooting based on which zillionaire is paying them to play), I did enjoy this line from The Jewish Journal:
“…Braun is quietly establishing himself as a circumcised version of Albert Pujols.”
I can only hope that The Jewish Journal has not checked in to the state of Mr. Pujols’… oh, whatever.
Joe Nacho’s disclaimer
Mr. Nacho’s email also advises me that any tax advice contained in the email is not intended or written to be used. Does a discussion of famous Jewish ballplayers constitute tax advice?
Now HERE are the corporate titans that need to be boiled in beezlenut oil
I’ve never been a huge fan of the NCAA, but not for many of the typical reasons espoused by sports media types. I don’t really object to the commercialization of college sports – if YOU could make money hand over fist like the NCAA does, you would. I enjoy the BCS, the NCAA basketball tournament, and the College World Series, despite their numerous flaws. I have serious objections to the sanctimonious hypocrisy every time I watch an ad in which the NCAA claims to be about education rather than about fleecing sports fans for every cent they might be willing to give up; however, I also understand the public relations necessity of running such ads.
That said, I was unaware just how far over the line between “money grubbing” and “evil” the NCAA had stepped. It’s bad that tickets to big events such as the final four are essentially unavailable to the general public – most are gladhanded to corporate sponsors, NCAA executives, and other “important” people. Bad, yes, but not truly evil… presumably the NCAA sees it in their long term interest to shut out the common fan. The common fan has every right simply not to go, or not to watch. College sports are a very, very hot product, which the NCAA may market as they see fit.
I found out yesterday just how tickets to the final four are distributed to the general public. Fans must enter a lottery for the few available tickets. That they should have a lottery is certainly not evil… it’s merely the NCAA’s choice of how to distribute a rare product in high demand. I don’t even know the price of tickets, but they could be $1000 a piece, and I would not object.[7]
The evil comes in the requirements for the lottery:
1. All tickets must be paid in advance, including a $10 “service charge.”
2. The lottery is actually held many months after the money-due deadline.
3. Those who win get tickets; those who lose have ticket money refunded.
4. The service charge is nonrefundable, whether the applicant wins or not.
5. Each person my submit up to 10 applications.
6. No one may know precisely how many tickets are available, nor the approximate odds of winning.
What this boils down to is illegal gambling: for $10 plus a multiple-month interest-free loan of probably close to $100, you may have the chance to win a product of value. At least, that’s the contention of a California law firm. They have filed suit in California – where lotteries are illegal except those run by the state or a charity – to reclaim damages to the zillions of fans who have been fleeced by this scheme, plus, I’m sure, to pocket significant lawyer fees.
Oh, wait, that’s just how college admission works!
Send in an application with a $50 “service fee” for a chance to win the right to pay tens of thousand a year in pursuit of an academic degree. The odds of winning are not disclosed ahead of time.
Maybe they’re going to have to expand the famous pamphlet from Airplane
The Nachoman’s brother-in-law Joe Nacho and the Nachograndpa revel in great performances by Jewish athletes. They, and, apparently, Jews nationwide, are agog by the potential of Jewish MVPs in both leagues. Ryan Braun and Kevin Youkilis both have legitimate credentials as Children of Israel. While I find this combination of MVPs unlikely, and I am a bit less inclined than my relatives to root for players based on their ethnicity (though I admit that makes as much sense as rooting based on which zillionaire is paying them to play), I did enjoy this line from The Jewish Journal:
“…Braun is quietly establishing himself as a circumcised version of Albert Pujols.”
I can only hope that The Jewish Journal has not checked in to the state of Mr. Pujols’… oh, whatever.
Joe Nacho’s disclaimer
Mr. Nacho’s email also advises me that any tax advice contained in the email is not intended or written to be used. Does a discussion of famous Jewish ballplayers constitute tax advice?
Well, a colleague at my southern boarding school once kept a squirrel in his fridge
Though my boarding school admits folks of many different economic classes, once students are here, everyone gravitates toward the same lifestyle. Money is simply not a hugely necessary commodity while school is in session. The snack bar sells burgers and fries at cost; food at the dining hall is, of course, free. School-sponsored weekend activities are actually school-sponsored, meaning that students don’t pay except occasionally for a fast-food meal on the road. Sure, some students have fancy electronic equipment, which generally becomes communal once it’s on dorm; some students have better clothes or cell phones than others. But, since there’s not more than a couple of hours a week in which to enjoy material goods, and since no one at a boys’ school actually cares what kind of clothes anyone wears, we all live a similar sort of upper-middle-class existence.
So it’s easy for us to forget that true poor rural southern culture still exists. Here’s a great and humbling example: a recruit to the University of Miami explains how to cook possum and raccoon… not because he went on fancy and expensive hunting trips with dad, but because, living on a barrier island, these were the critters he often ate for dinner.
The Stanley Cup finals are here again! Let’s buy 6000 pounds of octopus!
The Nachoman tried very hard to become a hockey fan back in the day by attending numerous Cincinnati Cyclones games, and by watching virtually every New York Rangers playoff game in 1994 in the company of true Rangers fans. NachoGrandpa was a true fan even farther back in the day – he was a Chicago Blackhawks season ticket holder in the Stan Mikita[8] era. Hockey didn’t stick with me, for a variety of reasons. Yet, I have a healthy respect for the Stanley Cup playoffs, as long as they occur outside the sun belt. This year’s final series is between the Detroit Red Wings and the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Detroit hockey fans perpetuate the sweetest tradition in all of American sports… yes, much better even than Georgia’s “Hunker Down You Hairy Dawgs.” They throw octopuses from the stands onto the ice. Why octopi, you ask? When the tradition started, it took eight victories – two best-of-seven-series – to win the Stanley cup. (These days, I suppose, fans should throw *two* octopodes, since 16 wins are necessary.) Thus, the eight-legged cephalopod became the projectile of choice.
While the Nachoman has long been aware of this Detroit tradition, I’ve never before heard of those who so actively attempt to thwart potential mollusk hurlers. For one, the league itself will fine the Red Wings $10,000 if anyone in Detroit throws an octopus.[9] Beyond that, even obtaining an octopus to throw might be difficult outside Detroit.
ESPN gave a lot of press to this this Pittsburgh fishmonger who won’t sell Red Wings fans octopuses. According to the story, he will be listening carefully to customers’ accents, eavesdropping on their conversations, maybe even asking for proof of local residence before selling anyone an octopus. There can’t be that many octopus purveyors in the city of Pittsburgh. If both of them are careful about their customers, the city of Pittsburgh might prevent the major disaster that would ensure if (gasp!) anyone managed to throw an octopus onto the Penguins home ice.
While the fan in me admires this fishmonger’s support of his team, I wonder about the economic damage he will suffer. I did some research about octopus consumption in the United States.[10] I didn’t accomplish much, so I asked genial Woodberry librarian Phoebe Warmack to help me. Specifically, I wanted to know how much of the national octopus crop is purchased for throwing rather than for eating. My suspicion is that so many more people buy octopuses to throw than to eat that this Pittsburgh fishmonger might have been throwing away a significant windfall profit.
In Detroit, vendor Superior Fish sells 20-30 points of retail octopus weekly, and another 100-200 pounds per week wholesale. On the day of a home playoff game, Superior Fish owners suggest they might sell 100 pounds in a day.
Ms. Warmack also found out that the EPA estimates octopus consumption in the US as 0.096 grams per person per day. I’m sure that most of you reading this say, “not per THIS person!” Nevertheless, let’s do the math…
The population of Detroit is in the neighborhood of 4 million. If Detroit eats octopus at the same rate as does the rest of the country, that works out to about 900 pounds of octopus per day consumed in the city. That’s somewhat consistent with Superior Fish’s non-game-day estimate; it suggests that there are in the neighborhood of 30 Detroit fishmongers who sell octopus.
Now, on game day, imagine that all the fishmongers increase their sales by a factor of 25, as Superior Fish does. That suggests more than 20,000 pounds of octopus purchased on the day of a game. With each octopus weighing in the neighborhood of 2-4 pounds, that’s around 7000 octopi bought in the city of Detroit for hockey purposes.
What is the best game-winning radio call?
Cincinnatians are contractually obligated to vote for Marty Brennaman's “This one belongs to the Reds!” However, I do have a soft spot for the Pirates “Raise the Jolly Roger!”
Just how wide is a warning track, anyway?
The Atlanta Cracker, properly, will never allow the Nachoman to get away with any sort of misstatement.
“I just saw your item on "Manny being Manny", and while I agree with you that this was a classic example of that well-worn phrase, I have to disagree with some of your analysis of the play itself. You claim Manny caught the ball 25 feet from the wall and then "kept running, kept running toward the wall, even though he already possessed the ball." You make it sound as if he had no discernable reason to keep running in that direction. But look at the video again. Manny, running full speed, caught the ball just before his left foot landed and then took one, two, three full steps before going up against the wall. While he may have been able to stop before reaching the wall, it also made a lot of sense for him to use the wall to help him stop and get his momentum going the other way for the throw back to the infield. (And 25 feet? How wide is the warning track? Because he was at most 1.5 warning-track-widths from the wall when he caught the ball, and his first full step put him right on the edge of the track). Now high-fiving the guy while he was up there turning around? That was pure Manny.”
I had always assumed a 15-foot warning track when scoring games for STATS, LLC. The Atlanta Cracker’s missive gave me cause to look this up… Wikipedia suggests about 10 feet for warning tracks. More to the point, my special tool from STATS that allows me to click on any spot in Camden Yards to get a distance, in feet, from home plate suggests that the warning tracks there are indeed 10 feet wide. I was initially estimating more than 1.5 but less than 2 warning tracks-worth of distance from the wall, giving me 22-25 feet. But, now I’m guessing more like 15-17 feet from the wall.
And, I hadn’t thought at all about Manny actually using the wall to stop his momentum. There, I’ll yield to the expertise of a quirky and crazy baseball player who also has great instincts.
However, on further investigation, I had better reasoning than I thought. A quick check of a few ballparks with my STATS tool shows that warning tracks range from the 10 feet at Camden to close to 20 feet in Washington. Fifteen feet is not an unreasonable estimate for a warning track. But, the Atlanta Cracker is correct – given the size of Camden Yards’ warning track, Manny was only 15 feet or so from the wall, so he was not taking the long, pointless jaunt that I implied he was. High-fiving the one guy in the bleachers wearing a Red Sox jersey, though? Pure genius.
More reader comments, this time from the Nachograndpa
"In the Mikado, there are two officials of the town: the Lord High Executioner, which is the highest ranking, and the Lord High Everything Else, the lower ranking official. Pooh Bah is the name of the Lord High Everything Else, and holds himself in excessive esteem. There is no Grand Pooh Bah.
Regarding light opera, during the early 20th century there was a heavy dose of light opera in the U.S., the two main composers being Rudolph Friml and Victor Herbert. Herbert wrote something called "Naughty Marietta". There was a movie made of Naughty Marietta, and on more than one occasion in grade school we had to suffer watching it. This was the public school's effort to instill culture in us beasts, and the teacher's effort to give herself some free time."
Next Week
The Nachoman encourages Woodberry students to throw octopuses onto the floor during basketball games. The Nachoman chooses to keep his job.
[1] Oh.
[2] Yes, I know he plays right field. Bear with me.
[3] Okay, okay, now I know it’s called American Gothic by Grant Wood. I will note that Google knew exactly what I was talking about when I searched for “famous pitchfork picture.”
[4] The term “sabermetric” derives from the name of the Society of Baseball Research.
[5] On base % plus slugging %... the best single-number indicator of a batter’s worth
[6] This generally excludes curmudgeonly newspaper columnists, especially those who are willing to appear on “Around the Horn.”
[7] I wouldn’t ever recommend buying them, but that’s a different story.
[8] My generation knows Stan Mikita as a donut shop owner in the cult movie Wayne’s World. Times change.
[9] In MLB or the NFL we would call this a slap-on-the-wrist-symbolic sort of fine. In the NHL, however, ten grand probably represents a significant fraction of annual revenue.
[10] The principal conclusion of my research was, don’t ever google “Americans eating octopus.” You will get back a youtube video of a frat boy eating a live octopus. Gross.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Kansas City is weird, the Braves are pretty good, and other stories
The big news of the week was cancer survivor and Red Sock John Lester’s no-hitter. Talk about a story specially whipped up for the mainstream national media… human-interest story AND big name east coast team! If Joe Popcorneater of the Brewers had thrown the no-no, no one would have been talking about it by now.
That is not to diminish Mr. Lester’s accomplishment. The Nachoman is always thrilled for anyone who throws a no-hitter, no matter where or against whom. I did watch the last couple of outs, and I noticed how cool and composed Mr. Lester seemed. Outstanding theater.
In other news, this week I read God Save the Fan by Deadspin’s Will Leitch. I swear, I had not read the book previously… but it recapped more than half of the arguments I made a few weeks ago when I defended blogs against the legacy media. I highly recommend Mr. Leitch’s book, which comes chock full of stories embarrassing to ESPN.
But the Nachoman doesn’t cover Big News, nor even little News. The Nachoman discusses whatever comes to his mind, usually because he’s keeping score to a game for STATS. That’s why you get to read some interesting tidbits from Royals-Marlins, Mets-Braves, and Gilbert & Sullivan. Enjoy…
Notes from (gulp) Royals-Marlins
I had the privilege, or at least the assignment, of working the Marlins-Royals game for STATS, LLC on Saturday night. At season’s beginning, this looked like a toilet bowl. Now, with the Marlins temporarily in first place, and (at the time – they’ve lost four in a row since then) the Royals hovering near the .500 mark, the game was merely a bidet.
I watched the visiting Royals broadcast, with Ryan LaFebvre and Paul Splitterof. You might ask, who watches Royals games? One way to assess the relevant demographic might be to analyze the commercials they show. Keystone Light and Ford Escort commercials indicate a frat-boy audience; Smith-Barney and Lexus commercials suggest a quite different type of person watching. A guy generally knows he’s watching the wrong show if he sees ads for tampons or digestive regulatory yogurt. (Really -- Burrito Girl reports that she sees these ads regularly during her midday scifi network viewing.)
During Saturday's game I saw an ad for the “Listen Up!” personal sound amplifier, designed for old people with hearing problems. You put in the earpiece, point the device at the TV or at an otherwise private conversation, and voila, you can hear! The ad shows an old woman[1] shouting to her husband, “Does that have to be so loud?!?”
The Royals also advertised a John Mayberry bobblehead. Woo-hoo![2]
That is not to diminish Mr. Lester’s accomplishment. The Nachoman is always thrilled for anyone who throws a no-hitter, no matter where or against whom. I did watch the last couple of outs, and I noticed how cool and composed Mr. Lester seemed. Outstanding theater.
In other news, this week I read God Save the Fan by Deadspin’s Will Leitch. I swear, I had not read the book previously… but it recapped more than half of the arguments I made a few weeks ago when I defended blogs against the legacy media. I highly recommend Mr. Leitch’s book, which comes chock full of stories embarrassing to ESPN.
But the Nachoman doesn’t cover Big News, nor even little News. The Nachoman discusses whatever comes to his mind, usually because he’s keeping score to a game for STATS. That’s why you get to read some interesting tidbits from Royals-Marlins, Mets-Braves, and Gilbert & Sullivan. Enjoy…
Notes from (gulp) Royals-Marlins
I had the privilege, or at least the assignment, of working the Marlins-Royals game for STATS, LLC on Saturday night. At season’s beginning, this looked like a toilet bowl. Now, with the Marlins temporarily in first place, and (at the time – they’ve lost four in a row since then) the Royals hovering near the .500 mark, the game was merely a bidet.
I watched the visiting Royals broadcast, with Ryan LaFebvre and Paul Splitterof. You might ask, who watches Royals games? One way to assess the relevant demographic might be to analyze the commercials they show. Keystone Light and Ford Escort commercials indicate a frat-boy audience; Smith-Barney and Lexus commercials suggest a quite different type of person watching. A guy generally knows he’s watching the wrong show if he sees ads for tampons or digestive regulatory yogurt. (Really -- Burrito Girl reports that she sees these ads regularly during her midday scifi network viewing.)
During Saturday's game I saw an ad for the “Listen Up!” personal sound amplifier, designed for old people with hearing problems. You put in the earpiece, point the device at the TV or at an otherwise private conversation, and voila, you can hear! The ad shows an old woman[1] shouting to her husband, “Does that have to be so loud?!?”
The Royals also advertised a John Mayberry bobblehead. Woo-hoo![2]
So a Royals fan is likely to be old, hearing impaired and knowledgeable of John Mayberry. Who knew?
Um, Nachoman, what about the game?
Scott Olsen, who walks more batters than he should, was on the mound for the Marlins. He retired the first batter, then walked the second guy on 5 pitches. The next two batters swung at the first pitch(!). Now, I’m not the only commentator to wonder why a batter would swing at the first pitch from a pitcher with suspect control after he’s walked someone. What kind of stupid hitters are in the middle of the Royals order?
Well. On that first pitch, Alex Gordon lined a single into right field.
Though Jose Guillen swung at a bad first pitch, he took another strike, and… hit the ball hard to center field.
Don’t whine, Nachoman… somehow, someway, professional ballplayers know more about hitting than a physics teacher who once struck out eight straight times in coach-pitch little league. Amazing.
Since the Nachoman has proven himself an idiot as an hitting coach, why not try being a scout?
Lefty Scott Olsen holds the ball high in his glove in the stretch. The centerfield camera can show his grip on the ball easily – if I had high definition, I could probably call the kind of pitch ahead of time. I wonder whether a runner on second might be able to see that grip…
Scott Olsen is slow
His five-pitch 4th inning against the Royals took nearly 5 minutes.
Since the Nachoman has proven himself an idiot as an hitting coach, why not try being a scout?
Lefty Scott Olsen holds the ball high in his glove in the stretch. The centerfield camera can show his grip on the ball easily – if I had high definition, I could probably call the kind of pitch ahead of time. I wonder whether a runner on second might be able to see that grip…
Scott Olsen is slow
His five-pitch 4th inning against the Royals took nearly 5 minutes.
Worst sportswriter pun of the month
From foxsports.com about Saturday’s Reds-Indians game, which was decided on an Adam Dunn walkoff: “Dunn's three-run homer in the ninth inning off Masa Kobayashi powered the Cincinnati Reds to their season-high fifth straight victory Saturday, a 4-2 win that had a familiar feel for Cleveland's relievers. They've had this Dunn to them before.”
It was certainly fun to watch the discombobulation of Cleveland's relief staff, who blew three straight games against the Redlegs. Problem is, I read this horrible pun on Sunday afternoon, right after the Reds completed their first ever 6-0 homestand at the Great American Ballpark. Me, I think the pun cursed the team, as the Reds haven't won since.
Second-worst sportswriter pun of the month
Well, I don’t know exactly when this was written, but I read it this month… in the Bill James Gold Mine, a book of nuggets (ha!) of detailed statistical trends, Mr. James titles a section about White Sox DH Jim Thome, “Thome Poisoning.”
Another reason not to watch the Royals
Royals announcer Ryan LaFebvre pontificated that the “correct” determination of whether a check swing is a strike depends on whether the bat breaks the plane of home plate. He’s wrong – the rulebook says no such thing. The umpire is to determine whether the batter “offers” at the pitch, with no definition or guidance given for the term “offer”. The high school rulebook does give guidance, saying that the umpire may consider whether the bat crossed the batter’s body; but, “the final decision is based on whether the batter actually struck at the ball.”
The Nachoman is angry at Mr. LaFebvre not just for getting the rule wrong, but for spreading disinformation to an already ignorant public. On Tuesday in Madison county, I was the plate umpire for a playoff game. On a 2-2 count, a Madison county batter tried to check his swing, but in my judgment he struck at the ball. I therefore wrung him up. He was most displeased, and showed his displeasure with a naughty exclamation and a thrown bat. I stared at him as the Madison coach came out to discuss my call.
I wanted to talk about the batter’s naughtiness. “Okay, we’ll talk about that, but let’s talk about the call first,” said the coach – an unusual request, considering that this coach knew that his batter was in danger of being ejected. But I agreed. The coach intensely yet politely argued that the batter had not swung. “He didn’t break his wrists.” “His bat didn’t cross the plate.” I quoted the rulebook definition of a half-swing; the coach wasn’t happy, but he stopped arguing. Then, I tattled on the batter, and we agreed that this player had better keep his mouth shut the rest of the game or he would be ejected. No trouble. The coach was as good as his word.
Maybe Scott Olsen should learn from the Braves
In a doubleheader Tuesday, the Braves only walked two in 18 innings. No coincidence here – the Braves swept two from the Mets.
In the entire four-game series, the Braves only walked four batters in 36 innings. Careful, NL east… Atlanta is on a five game winning streak.
This does NOT mean that the Mets are "scuffling."
About a year ago, I heard a baseball announcer use the word "scuffling" to mean "struggling." I thought that usage crazy... to me, the proper use of "scuffling" is in the context "Nolan Ryan and Robin Ventura were scuffling on the pitcher's mound." The sentence "Richie Sexson is scuffling, he's 0 for his last 25 at bats" makes no sense.
Very soon after that first observation, I began to hear "scuffling" all over the place in this incorrect usage. Now a week does not go by in which I don't hear that someone is scuffling. What is up? Is there an etymologist in the house? Because I will bet good money that some ESPN anchorbeing, perhaps Stuart Scott, used the word once or twice in highlight narration, causing every self-disrespecting broadcaster in the country to imitate this new usage.
(Alternatively, it is likely that many of these folks didn't know that "scuffle" is being used incorrectly. After all, these are people who say "Alfonso Soriano needs to get untracked.")
From the NachoGrandpa
I reprint this letter from the NachoGrandpa verbatim and without comment… Except, I do wonder why one would watch ESPN on a weekday between 3:00 and 4:00 PM. NachoGrandpa must be enjoying his retirement.
To ESPN:
I was watching ESPN Tuesday, May 20, between 3:00 PM and 4:00 PM, and heard something like the following: “Players and Politics: Some players have strong political views. Stay tuned to learn why these players are afraid to speak out.” This seemed a wrongheaded topic, and I turned off ESPN.
I’ve worked for 45 years, and virtually no one at work knows my political opinions, and I don’t know theirs. This is in spite of the fact that I have strong opinions on most political topics. I am not “afraid to speak out.” The reason for my silence is straightforward. I value a good working relationship with my co-workers and customers more than the satisfaction of sounding off. I would guess that my coworkers’ and customers’ silence is the result of their feeling the same way. Probably most major sports figures also feel that way in regard to the good will of their teammates, their sport, and their fans.
Once over the years, someone was passing out literature pushing one of the two candidates for President (as to be expected, it belittled the other candidate). The higher-ups put a stop to this. I was pleased, even though I also backed the same candidate. A pleasant environment at work is more important than who’s in office, and the company’s policies should enforce that attitude.
On almost any political topic, you’ll get half the population agreeing with you and the other half feeling hostile and offended. I think it’s a healthy thing that the sports figures feel the good will of others is more important than discussing who should be in office or what policies should be taken. It’s not likely, but maybe there’s modesty involved. They may think that just because they’re talented in one area in life, it doesn’t mean that their opinion in political areas has special value. However, regardless of the reason, the players’ (or management’s) choice not to create a hostile environment is to be commended
My guess is the ESPN writer of the story had an excess of zeal on some topic, and knew of some players who felt the same way. The writer wrote the story in an attempt to force the players to feel morally obliged to make these opinions public, and perhaps to pressure their teams’ management to accept the players’ sounding off. I hope someone in charge at ESPN will advise the writer to channel his or her zeal in some other direction.
Other than once hearing that Carlos Delgado opposed the Iraq War, and that Kurt Schilling preferred Bush to Kerry in ’04, I’ve been delightfully spared the political opinions of athletes. Let’s keep it that way.
Bart Jacobs
Lack of hustle
Saturday night, the Diamondbacks got the leadoff man on down by one in the 8th inning. Orlando Hudson tried to lay down a bunt, but he popped up the attempt about 20 feet from the plate. Mr. Hudson hung his head as Tigers catcher Pudge Rodriguez camped under the popup. What would you do in Mr. Rodriguez’ place?
Let the ball drop, of course. Pudgie threw to second base for the force; the throw back to first was easily in time, because Mr. Hudson didn’t run. Oops.
Side note – the infield fly rule didn’t apply here because only one person was on base. However, this ploy would have worked even with two or three on! The infield fly rule can never be called on a bunt. With the bases loaded, whether the batter runs or not, the best play is to let the ball drop. Get the out at home, double up the runner from third. Or, with runners on first and second, get the double play from third to second.
But can he WALK and chew gum at the same time?
FSN Cincinnati showed a slow motion replay of Ryan Freel BLOWING A BUBBLE as he legged out an infield single. Even at bat, Mr. Freel's bubble gum hangs out of his mouth as he masticates.
In the comic Calvin & Hobbes, six-year-old Calvin subscribed to “Chewing” magazine, a parody of typical vacuous hobby journals. Shouldn’t Ryan Freel be a featured celebrity in “Chewing?”
Me, I’d adhere to the Greg Maddux philosophy over, say, the almost-anyone-else philosophy
This is pretty much an EXACT quotation from Fox Sports South: “The Greg Maddux philosophy of stopping the stolen base: Don’t let anyone on to begin with. He’d give you a couple of courtesy throws, just to show he knows you’re there, and he’s angry about it.”
Please ignore the tense and mood issues. The content stands as a pearl of baseball wisdom, one ignored by far too many pitchers.
More good journalism from Sports South
I’ve heard the story before that FSS repeated about Jose Reyes’ decline… popular perception is that he pouted after manager Willie Randolph benched him for running out a ground ball. After that, he was never the same Jose Reyes.
FSS mentioned reports from the New York media that Mr. Randolph has had trouble disciplining his players. Word is, players whine to general manager Omar Minaya, who lends a “sympathetic ear.” Word also is that there’s significant social friction within the Mets clubhouse. Mr. Minaya has been noted for hiring large number of Latin players. It’s not hard to jump to the conclusion that Mr. Minaya might be loyal to “his” Latin players at the expense of his other, American born players and his American born manager.[3]
One clubhouse beef that sounds reasonable and fact-based is the manner in which Latin and American-born players deal with the overwhelming New York press corps. American-born players, including closer Billy Wagner, have made biting and sarcastic remarks to reporters about how they tend to do far more interviews than the Latin players. It seems that some Mets are pulling a Fernando Valenzuela,[4] conveniently losing their ability to speak English when reporters are looking for quotations. With the abundance of Mets players for whom “Señor, no comprendo” is a believable excuse, suddenly the team with the most writers in the clubhouse is left with the fewest players available for interview. This can reasonably cause resentment among the American born.
So, is the problem with the Mets – who are back under .500 and are 3-7 in their last 10 games – that their clubhouse is fractured? That they don’t get along with one another? That’s yet another easy conclusion to jump to, especially after watching Brian Schneider and Johan Santana do a Chad Johnson-style arm-flap-with-associated-scowl at Luis Castillo for a poor defensive decision on Thursday. Yet, as statistical wonks point out, clubhouse chemistry might be less important in baseball than in any other major sport. Do the Carloses – Beltran and Delgado – need a group hug in order to hit .259 and .217? Do Mike Pelfrey and Nelson Figueroa need emotional support so that they’ll stop walking as many as they strike out? No… these are professionals, making millions for their baseball services. One has a right to expect performance, whether or not their best buddies are in the dugout with them.
I also note that, despite having pretty much the same players, clubhouse chemistry was not cited as a problem[5] two years ago when the Mets came close to the World Series, nor last year as they almost won the division.
He’s heard of home announcers getting down on their team, but this is ridiculous
“Here’s the Ford defensive alignment,” said George Grande on FSN Cincinnati. El Molé heard it as “Here’s the poor defensive alignment.” After watching the Dodgers series in which the Reds threw away at least one if not two games based on bad fielding, I’m wondering whether El Molé might not have heard a Freudian slip.
This may turn into a season-defining series
Mets-Braves series this week: 6-1 Braves, 6-2 Braves, 11-4 Braves, 4-2 Braves. Perhaps the most telling statistic is the starters’ ERA. Mets: Maine-Vargas-Pelfrey-Santana, 7.65. Braves: Glavine-Campillo-Jurrjens-Hudson, 1.33. Wow.
Oh, no, TMQ, what are you thinking?
Gregg Easterbrook, AKA Tuesday Morning Quarterback, has gone off the deep end in his criticism of Bill Belichick. At first his characterization of the Patriots as the Embodiment of Evil was cute and mildly amusing. But TMQ has entered the realm of the absurd blowhard as he begs for a lifetime suspension for Bill B. Problems with his argument include the following:
1. Purpose… I’m all in favor of single-sanction discipline.[6] After all, that’s what we have at Woodberry Forest for honor offenses, alcohol, or drugs. And I have no problem with the single-sanction for what others may consider minor offenses. But consider… why do we discipline? So the offense never gets committed in the first place. Prevention requires foreknowledge of the serious consequence, not a retroactive whacking under external pressure. That is, if a lifetime suspension of Mr. Belichick were to do any good, everyone else in the league must truly believe that they too would be expelled for similar crimes. But, who thinks Grand Poobah Goodell would come down as hard on anyone else for another minor offense?
2. Inconsistency… Where is the line drawn? Single-sanction discipline especially must involve black-and-white issues. What else would, in Mr. Morning-Quarterback’s esteemed opinion, deserve banishment? Contacting free agents early? What about others who have taped signals in the past? What about steroids? Illegal taping and lying about it is worth a lifetime ban, but steroids, disingenuous excuses and apologies – which most likely include lies – are worth merely a four game ban? What would be next, TMQ, ejections for pass interference (which is cheating)?
3. This paragraph: “But a Mitchell Report for the NFL would cause this unpleasantness to drag on for years. And the situations are different. Steroid use in baseball was a problem of national scope, because home run hitters with instant biceps were causing teens and young adults to want to inject themselves with steroids, ignoring long-term health risks. Inaction on steroids in baseball could have caused long-term damage to public health. Plus, prior to George Mitchell's assignment, it seemed likely steroid use was pervasive in major league baseball, justifying an investigative commission with a sweeping mandate. With Spygate, the worst-case outcome is a decline of the NFL as America's favorite sport. If the NFL goes into a cycle of decline, this will be awful for those who love the sport, but have no impact on the nation as a whole. And unlike baseball, where signs of steroid use were many, there are no similar indications of pervasive cheating in the NFL. This suggests an independent commission to investigate pro football is not necessary."
Oh really, TMQ… read that last bit again (where the emphasis is mine). Here’s a list of indications of pervasive cheating in the NFL off the top of my head: Luis Castillo, Rodney Harrison, most of the Carolina Panthers 2003 team, Shawn Merriman, the Pittsburgh Steelers assistant who was linked to steroid distribution, 350-pound linemen, and so on. You really think that high school football players aren’t using steroids in imitation of NFL players? Then you are far, far more naive than I thought you were. Wow, TMQ, that was the all time stupidest paragraph you have ever written, I think.
Me, I’d adhere to the Greg Maddux philosophy over, say, the almost-anyone-else philosophy
This is pretty much an EXACT quotation from Fox Sports South: “The Greg Maddux philosophy of stopping the stolen base: Don’t let anyone on to begin with. He’d give you a couple of courtesy throws, just to show he knows you’re there, and he’s angry about it.”
Please ignore the tense and mood issues. The content stands as a pearl of baseball wisdom, one ignored by far too many pitchers.
More good journalism from Sports South
I’ve heard the story before that FSS repeated about Jose Reyes’ decline… popular perception is that he pouted after manager Willie Randolph benched him for running out a ground ball. After that, he was never the same Jose Reyes.
FSS mentioned reports from the New York media that Mr. Randolph has had trouble disciplining his players. Word is, players whine to general manager Omar Minaya, who lends a “sympathetic ear.” Word also is that there’s significant social friction within the Mets clubhouse. Mr. Minaya has been noted for hiring large number of Latin players. It’s not hard to jump to the conclusion that Mr. Minaya might be loyal to “his” Latin players at the expense of his other, American born players and his American born manager.[3]
One clubhouse beef that sounds reasonable and fact-based is the manner in which Latin and American-born players deal with the overwhelming New York press corps. American-born players, including closer Billy Wagner, have made biting and sarcastic remarks to reporters about how they tend to do far more interviews than the Latin players. It seems that some Mets are pulling a Fernando Valenzuela,[4] conveniently losing their ability to speak English when reporters are looking for quotations. With the abundance of Mets players for whom “Señor, no comprendo” is a believable excuse, suddenly the team with the most writers in the clubhouse is left with the fewest players available for interview. This can reasonably cause resentment among the American born.
So, is the problem with the Mets – who are back under .500 and are 3-7 in their last 10 games – that their clubhouse is fractured? That they don’t get along with one another? That’s yet another easy conclusion to jump to, especially after watching Brian Schneider and Johan Santana do a Chad Johnson-style arm-flap-with-associated-scowl at Luis Castillo for a poor defensive decision on Thursday. Yet, as statistical wonks point out, clubhouse chemistry might be less important in baseball than in any other major sport. Do the Carloses – Beltran and Delgado – need a group hug in order to hit .259 and .217? Do Mike Pelfrey and Nelson Figueroa need emotional support so that they’ll stop walking as many as they strike out? No… these are professionals, making millions for their baseball services. One has a right to expect performance, whether or not their best buddies are in the dugout with them.
I also note that, despite having pretty much the same players, clubhouse chemistry was not cited as a problem[5] two years ago when the Mets came close to the World Series, nor last year as they almost won the division.
He’s heard of home announcers getting down on their team, but this is ridiculous
“Here’s the Ford defensive alignment,” said George Grande on FSN Cincinnati. El Molé heard it as “Here’s the poor defensive alignment.” After watching the Dodgers series in which the Reds threw away at least one if not two games based on bad fielding, I’m wondering whether El Molé might not have heard a Freudian slip.
This may turn into a season-defining series
Mets-Braves series this week: 6-1 Braves, 6-2 Braves, 11-4 Braves, 4-2 Braves. Perhaps the most telling statistic is the starters’ ERA. Mets: Maine-Vargas-Pelfrey-Santana, 7.65. Braves: Glavine-Campillo-Jurrjens-Hudson, 1.33. Wow.
Oh, no, TMQ, what are you thinking?
Gregg Easterbrook, AKA Tuesday Morning Quarterback, has gone off the deep end in his criticism of Bill Belichick. At first his characterization of the Patriots as the Embodiment of Evil was cute and mildly amusing. But TMQ has entered the realm of the absurd blowhard as he begs for a lifetime suspension for Bill B. Problems with his argument include the following:
1. Purpose… I’m all in favor of single-sanction discipline.[6] After all, that’s what we have at Woodberry Forest for honor offenses, alcohol, or drugs. And I have no problem with the single-sanction for what others may consider minor offenses. But consider… why do we discipline? So the offense never gets committed in the first place. Prevention requires foreknowledge of the serious consequence, not a retroactive whacking under external pressure. That is, if a lifetime suspension of Mr. Belichick were to do any good, everyone else in the league must truly believe that they too would be expelled for similar crimes. But, who thinks Grand Poobah Goodell would come down as hard on anyone else for another minor offense?
2. Inconsistency… Where is the line drawn? Single-sanction discipline especially must involve black-and-white issues. What else would, in Mr. Morning-Quarterback’s esteemed opinion, deserve banishment? Contacting free agents early? What about others who have taped signals in the past? What about steroids? Illegal taping and lying about it is worth a lifetime ban, but steroids, disingenuous excuses and apologies – which most likely include lies – are worth merely a four game ban? What would be next, TMQ, ejections for pass interference (which is cheating)?
3. This paragraph: “But a Mitchell Report for the NFL would cause this unpleasantness to drag on for years. And the situations are different. Steroid use in baseball was a problem of national scope, because home run hitters with instant biceps were causing teens and young adults to want to inject themselves with steroids, ignoring long-term health risks. Inaction on steroids in baseball could have caused long-term damage to public health. Plus, prior to George Mitchell's assignment, it seemed likely steroid use was pervasive in major league baseball, justifying an investigative commission with a sweeping mandate. With Spygate, the worst-case outcome is a decline of the NFL as America's favorite sport. If the NFL goes into a cycle of decline, this will be awful for those who love the sport, but have no impact on the nation as a whole. And unlike baseball, where signs of steroid use were many, there are no similar indications of pervasive cheating in the NFL. This suggests an independent commission to investigate pro football is not necessary."
Oh really, TMQ… read that last bit again (where the emphasis is mine). Here’s a list of indications of pervasive cheating in the NFL off the top of my head: Luis Castillo, Rodney Harrison, most of the Carolina Panthers 2003 team, Shawn Merriman, the Pittsburgh Steelers assistant who was linked to steroid distribution, 350-pound linemen, and so on. You really think that high school football players aren’t using steroids in imitation of NFL players? Then you are far, far more naive than I thought you were. Wow, TMQ, that was the all time stupidest paragraph you have ever written, I think.
Not that I disagree with TMQ's conclusion
An independent commission shouldn’t investigate pro football because congress has better things to do than to provide yet another set of televised hearings in which politicians grandstand about how much they care about the children. One of my three or four pet pieces of legislation would be to forbid televised footage of congressional discourse until everyone's term in office has expired.
Once again, another website says something better than the Nachoman ever could
Here’s the Boston Sports Media Watch blog discussing everything that’s been wrong with the coverage of spygate. Their scariest speculation: why the Patriots, and why Belichick? Because of access, or lack thereof. Never underestimate how full of themselves sportswriters are. Belichick is famously unfriendly and secretive around the media… thus, he gets far more criticism than those who are buddy-buddy with reporters.
Speaking of the Grand Poobah
El Molé informed me of the source of the term “Grand Poobah.” I always thought this was a Flintstones word, because the head of the Water Buffalo Lodge was the Grand Poobah. Yet, El Molé says that the term originated in Gilbert and Sullivan’s light opera, The Mikado.
Next week
The Nachoman asks if anyone other than Gilbert &Sullivan has ever authored a “light opera.” (Hint: Bronson Arroyo.)
Once again, another website says something better than the Nachoman ever could
Here’s the Boston Sports Media Watch blog discussing everything that’s been wrong with the coverage of spygate. Their scariest speculation: why the Patriots, and why Belichick? Because of access, or lack thereof. Never underestimate how full of themselves sportswriters are. Belichick is famously unfriendly and secretive around the media… thus, he gets far more criticism than those who are buddy-buddy with reporters.
Speaking of the Grand Poobah
El Molé informed me of the source of the term “Grand Poobah.” I always thought this was a Flintstones word, because the head of the Water Buffalo Lodge was the Grand Poobah. Yet, El Molé says that the term originated in Gilbert and Sullivan’s light opera, The Mikado.
Next week
The Nachoman asks if anyone other than Gilbert &Sullivan has ever authored a “light opera.” (Hint: Bronson Arroyo.)
[1] Which might well have been my late grandmother, who was constantly screaming at my grandfather to turn up his hearing aid. I myself have long been convinced that Papa was content with the volume low.
[2] Who is John Mayberry?
[3] And, since it’s an easy if speculative conclusion, New York papers have in fact jumped to it.
[4] “Valenzuela” is in Microsoft Word’s spellcheck dictionary, although “spellcheck” is not.
[5] At least, not in a way that came to the ear of the Nachoman
[6] That’s edu-speak for “Don’t do this, or you get kicked out of school / the league the very first time with no warning. Nyeh.”
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Bullpen Madness, Manny, and ooh, a brawl!
Who’s the class of the National League?
The Nachoman still gives his love to the Diamondbacks, who boast two of the best starting pitchers in baseball. Of course, Deep Dish has been promoting the Cubs prospects for over a month now. Deep Dish has a bit more of a rooting interest in this debate than the Nachoman, so I am willing to concede my position if I am provided with evidence that I am wrong.
Under the background of this longstanding discussion, Deep Dish and I happened to be leaving the dining hall simultaneously on Monday afternoon. We looked at each other, nodded hello… after a moment’s pause, we looked at each other again and, in PERFECT UNISON, uttered the same phrase:
“The Cubs swept the Diamondbacks this weekend.”
Deranged minds think alike, I suppose. Both teams share the best record in baseball as I write, though the Cubs now have a better Pythagorean record (meaning their run differential is better than that of the D-backs). I’m watching part of a Brandon Webb start tonight against the Rockies, the better to observe the Arizona juggernaut personally. I promise, I’ll make a point to watch a Cubs game this week for comparison.
The team I haven’t watched that I should is the Devil Rays. They have risen from the ashes of Vince Naimoli ownership to the AL east lead.
That said, I did watch an American League game this week: I saw Cleveland’s Fausto Carmona dominate the Blue Jays as part of the Indians starters’ current streak of 43 consecutive scoreless innings. That’s right, the Cleveland starters haven’t given up a run since CC Sabathia allowed one run in the 5th inning of his quality start last Friday. The Nachoman is simply in awe.
The Nachoman still gives his love to the Diamondbacks, who boast two of the best starting pitchers in baseball. Of course, Deep Dish has been promoting the Cubs prospects for over a month now. Deep Dish has a bit more of a rooting interest in this debate than the Nachoman, so I am willing to concede my position if I am provided with evidence that I am wrong.
Under the background of this longstanding discussion, Deep Dish and I happened to be leaving the dining hall simultaneously on Monday afternoon. We looked at each other, nodded hello… after a moment’s pause, we looked at each other again and, in PERFECT UNISON, uttered the same phrase:
“The Cubs swept the Diamondbacks this weekend.”
Deranged minds think alike, I suppose. Both teams share the best record in baseball as I write, though the Cubs now have a better Pythagorean record (meaning their run differential is better than that of the D-backs). I’m watching part of a Brandon Webb start tonight against the Rockies, the better to observe the Arizona juggernaut personally. I promise, I’ll make a point to watch a Cubs game this week for comparison.
The team I haven’t watched that I should is the Devil Rays. They have risen from the ashes of Vince Naimoli ownership to the AL east lead.
That said, I did watch an American League game this week: I saw Cleveland’s Fausto Carmona dominate the Blue Jays as part of the Indians starters’ current streak of 43 consecutive scoreless innings. That’s right, the Cleveland starters haven’t given up a run since CC Sabathia allowed one run in the 5th inning of his quality start last Friday. The Nachoman is simply in awe.
Happy Birthday to...
Normally, the Nachoman doesn't really care when professional athletes' birthdays are. What am I gonna do, send them a card? (I'm sure there's a Miguel Tejada or Julio Franco joke in here somewhere.)
Normally, the Nachoman doesn't really care when professional athletes' birthdays are. What am I gonna do, send them a card? (I'm sure there's a Miguel Tejada or Julio Franco joke in here somewhere.)
But the Nachoman sends his birthday wishes to now-41-year-old John Smoltz, born on May 15, 1967... precisely one decade prior to the birth of Burrito Girl.
More on the Indians
The Woodberry lunch table was abuzz about Monday’s Asdrubal Cabrera unassisted triple play. What impressed people most wasn’t Mr. Cabrera’s actual defensive effort – after all, when runners on 1st and 2nd take off on the pitch, and said pitch is a line drive right at someone, a triple play is nearly guaranteed. (At least if there are no outs.) Whether the triple play is unassisted or not often depends on the whim of the defender, whether he appeals by tagging a runner, or whether he throws to a base for the appeal play.[1]
No, the focus of the faculty conversation was the Indians announcer, Rick Manning, who called the triple play before the ball even hit Mr. Cabrera’s glove: “Triple play! Triple play!” he said. Mr. Manning is an ex-Indian, and a former player with baseball instincts thinks triple play instantly on this sort of line drive. Nice work communicating his instincts to the crowd -- that's what a color man is for.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, a brawl!
Last Thursday night, Richie Sexson of the Mariners charged Rangers pitcher Kason Gabbard. As brawls go, this one was rather dumb and tame. Upon observing the charging Sexson, Mr. Gabbard took a low linebacker’s stance with the intent to deliver a tackle. Mr. Sexson changed tactics, throwing his helmet at Mr. Gabbard’s head. The helmet missed, instead hitting Mr. Gabbard in his recently injured back. The traditional melee ensued.
Why was Mr. Sexson mad enough to call forth violence against his opponent? Well, the Mariners had lost 8 of their last 9 games, and Mr. Sexson was barely hitting .200 at the time. I would suggest that poor performance like this is the most common underlying cause of a baseball brawl.
Felix Hernandez, the Mariners starting pitcher, had earlier bopped Ian Kinsler after Mr. Kinsler hit a home run. That was Mr. Hernandez’s second hit batsman of the night. It seemed likely that Mr. Gabbard might retaliate by plunking a Mariner. He did not; the pitch that angered Mr. Sexson was over the heart of the plate, but very, very high.
But facts shouldn’t get in the way of a good brawl. After the game, Mr. Sexson spouted some indignant bologna to reporters, to the general effect of “I don’t mind if he hits me, that’s part of the game, but throwing at the head shouldn’t be tolerated, and he threw at my head, don’t try to tell me he didn’t.” I encourage my readers to watch the video, and decide for yourself whether this pitch was aimed at Mr. Sexson’s head.
There’s always a postscript to a brawl
The next day, major league baseball announced suspensions and fines. Mr. Sexson, the instigator, was suspended for six games. Si.com speculated that the suspension was longer than it otherwise might have been because Mr. Sexson threw his helmet.[2] Of course, Mr. Sexson has appealed, effectively meaning that he may serve his suspension at his convenience – i.e., when the Mariners face weak opponents, when they'll be taking a long, boring road trip, or maybe just when Mr. Sexson needs a week off.
Three people were fined, not suspended. Felix Hernandez was fined, not for throwing at anyone, but for jabbering after the brawl, refusing to sit down, and generally running his mouth in order to escalate tensions. Gerald Laird was fined, too, for something I haven’t found out about.
The interesting fine was to Rangers pitcher Sir Sidney Ponson.[3] Now, one might suggest that Sidney Ponson should be fined simply for being Sidney Ponson. In 2004 Sir Sidney physically assaulted a judge in Aruba during a trial relating to reckless boating. In 2005, he was arrested in Maryland for DUI. In 2006, his ERA was above 7.0. The Rangers must have been truly desperate to hire this gentleman.
Having some knowledge of his background and his anger management skills, you are now well placed to evaluate Mr. Ponson’s postgame comments. He was fined for his actions at the brawlgame; Sports Illustrated says “Ponson left the bench and appeared to get in a shouting match with Hernandez.” Yet, Sir Sidney “vehemently” disagreed with his fine.
“"Felix said he was going to whip my (butt), and the umpire was in front of me. I didn't move. I just smiled. That's it -- and I'm getting fined,” said Sir Sidney. I can come to only one of two conclusions: (1) Sir Sidney is lying, or (2) Sir Sidney received his fine for the appearance of a shouting match, rather than for actual naughty actions. Either way, the Nachoman can offer but little sympathy.
The Nachoman is at a loss for words
I just cannot believe the classic instance of Manny being Manny in Baltimore on Wednesday. I mean, there’s video evidence and all, and this is Manny Ramirez we’re talking about, but my goodness…
There was one out. Remember, there was one out.
With two runners on base and running on the pitch, Mr. Ramirez made an excellent catch while running toward the wall in left-center field. The ball entered the glove about 25 feet from the fence. Manny kept running, kept running toward the wall, even though he already possessed the ball.
At the beginning of the play, there was one out. Remember, there was one out.
Manny leaped up onto the fence, presumably because he saw a young gentleman in a Red Sox jersey in the front row of the Camden Yards bleachers. Manny gave this gentleman a high-five, or at least an attempted high five.
Now there were two outs. Remember, now there were two outs.
TWO OUTS, Manny!
Smoothly, as if he had planned it all along, Mr. Ramirez fired a throw back to the infield… and in time to catch the runner from first for the third out.
I'm thinking that manager Terry Francona wanted simultaneously to hug and strangle Manny. In the immortal words of Dr. Seuss, now what would you do if it happened to you?
Clubhouse personae
Statistically minded baseball fans scoff at the concept of "clubhouse presence," but such a concept no doubt exists. The more relevant question is, how much money is it worth to carry a guy whose performance is subpar but whose "clubhouse presence" is excellent? (Answer, according to most sabermatricians: $0.) But what exactly is clubhouse presence, anyway? Consider Wednesday night's Thom Brennaman story about Ken Griffey. Mr. Junior lost a $1500 bet to teammate Josh Fogg, so he paid it… with 950 pounds of pennies placed in front of Mr. Fogg’s locker. Apparently Mr. Fogg had trouble even accessing his uniform that evening (I have not checked Mr. Brennaman's story for accuracy... I encourage one of my physics students to look up the density of a penny and to run these numbers to see how much $1500 of pennies really weigh.)
Maybe I don’t hate Dan LeBatard
While I enjoy Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon on Pardon The Interruption, I ignore any show in which the Miami Herald’s Dan LeBatard subs for one of the hosts. Mr. LeBatard is more obnoxious and ridiculously opinionated than even the standard PTI hosts.
Mr. LeBatard, who has been best known as a journalist for the Miami Herald, now is on leave from his newspaper job. He took the opportunity on his time off to give his thoughts about the old media vs. new media debate. The long, thoughtful essay was filled with clever metaphor, irony, possibly synecdoche, and maybe some other literary devices.[4]
It’s about time that a Legacy Journalist admitted some of the fundamental reasons that legacy journalists feel so threatened by blogs. Nice work, Mr. LeBatard. Now go start a blog. I’ll probably read a bit of it.
Bullpen madness
Will someone please tell me what Bobby Cox is doing with his bullpen?
Mr. Cox seems to use an average of two or three relief pitchers per inning. In my April 3 column, the Nachoman noted that Mr. Cox burned his bullpen in the 8th and 9th innings, forcing him to use inferior pitchers in what turned out to be an extra-inning loss. Several times last week, Mr. Cox put himself in a similar situation. For example, on Friday, Tom Glavine pitched seven solid innings for the Nachoman Quality Start. Then, in came:
· Royce Ring, for one batter.
· Blaine Boyer, for the rest of the 8th inning.
· Will Ohman, for one batter.
· Jeff Bennett, for a third of an inning, until he gave up the game winning hit.
I will note that when Mr. Glavine exited, the score was knotted at 2. I also will note that the previous night, starter Jo-Jo Reyes got roughed up, and so six relievers pitchers split the last six-plus innings.[5]
So, I ask, what would have happened had Mr. Bennett successfully finished the 9th inning on Friday? Who would have pitched the extra innings? Mr. Cox would have had to turn to tired and below-average relievers. Whereas, had he used his primary relievers for an inning or two each, he would have been well prepared for extra innings.
Now, don’t think the Nachoman is completely stupid.[6] I am familiar with the concept of the Lefthanded One Out Guy, also known as the LOOGY. I just think it’s not necessarily smart to use a LOOGY so frequently. Sure, in the bottom of the 8th with two outs, bases loaded, and Ted Williams at bat, I’d take out a tiring righthander for a LOOGY… but if the LOOGY failed to retire Mr. Williams, I’d let him continue to pitch to the next guy.
Other than that extreme situation, I don’t see the point. Platoon advantages[7] are especially real for lefthanded hitters, who hit about 9% better against righties than lefties. But righthanders hit only 20 points, or 2%, better against lefties than righties. I’d suggest that if your LOOGY is really good enough to be specially chosen to face the opposition’s best lefthanded hitter in a clutch situation, he’s also good enough to face the rest of the lineup. (I’ve already discussed most relievers’ observed difficulty throwing strikes when they first enter the game, so I won’t go into that here.)
Willie Randolph pulled a Bobby Cox
On Monday, Willie yoinked Scott Schoenweiss in the eighth with two outs after a good outing so that righty Joe Smith could face Jeff Keppinger with two men on and a 5 run lead.
Of course, Mr. Smith delivered three straight balls to Mr. Keppinger.
A powerful team
Which team has scored the highest percentage of their runs via the home run this year?
1. Florida, 49%. Wow! They play in one of the only three true pitchers’ parks in the majors! And yet, they have by far scored the biggest percentage of runs via the homer.
3. Cincinnati, 35%. This one might expect, in one of the best hitters’ parks ever, and with all-or-nothing sluggers like Adam Dunn and Ken Griffey populating the lineup.
Boris Badenov should be his catcher
(Click the link to hear the immortal line, "It's a Moon Moose!")
Burke Badenhop is a Marlins starter who joined the team as part of the Cabrera/Willis trade. Isn’t that one of the best names ever for a baseball pitcher? Right up there with Bob Walk, Grant Balfour…
On Monday night, the Reds beat the Marlins and Mr. Badenhop, 8-7. It was 8-4 until David Weathers did his thing; he made it 8-5. Francisco Cordero was brought in with two on and the 8-5 lead with two outs in the eighth. The Reds broadcast made a big deal that Mr. Cordero would thus be faced with -- gasp! -- a four-out save opportunity. The announcers’ bemusement reminded me of the time I visited a girlfriend’s family in Maine, and I wanted to dip crabmeat in butter. (They had never heard of such a heathen practice.) They humored the oddball, but kept commenting on how strange I was.
Mr. Cordero hit the first batter he faced; but then he got the fly ball he needed, to shallow right field. Ken Griffey came in, called off second baseman Brandon Phillips, and (gulp) DROPPED THE BALL. Two runs scored. I mean, this was a true drop, every bit as bad as the time I dropped the easy fly ball in 7th grade and earned a shouting from my coach. You don’t expect Ken Griffey to do that.
Or do you? A critical play in Sunday’s Reds game cost Johnny Cueto two runs: Ken Griffey and centerfielder Ryan Freel converged on the ball. Griffey appeared to have a bead on it, Mr. Freel peeled off… and then Mr. Griffey just stopped running. Who knows what verbal communication had passed between these outfielders, so it might not be fair to blame Mr. Griffey – but it was certainly he who had the easy play.
Back to Monday… Mr. Cordero, obviously angry at either Mr. Griffey or at the big, cruel universe in general, proceeded to walk the next Marlins hitter, loading the bases again, now with only an 8-7 lead. Then Mr. Cordero allowed a long, high fly ball to right center field. Mr. Griffey had to run for this one, a catch that should be tough but manageable for a professional right fielder. The ball hit Mr. Griffey’s outstretched glove. Then the ball came out, and every Reds fan groaned, knowing that the $20 million man had screwed up again… but finally, Mr. Griffey trapped the ball against his body with his bare hand, securing the catch and the 1-run lead. Whew.
Gotta love the defense from that corner outfield combination of Adam Dunn and Ken Griffey!
At least you’re not this guy
Air travel has become ever more uncomfortable and annoying. Flying JetBlue airlines is bliss, even though they don’t fly to most of the destinations that the Nachoman usually heads for. They offer substantial legroom, in-flight television (which is only really useful to me if the Nachoboy is with me, or if there’s a game on), and unlimited snacks and sodas. It's actually relaxing to fly JetBlue.
Unless you’re this guy, that is… according to this Associated Press story, a pilot told a standby passenger to “go hang out in the bathroom” during a flight because there wasn’t a seat for him.
Powerful hitting, or sketchy pitching?
Braves color man Joe Simpson noted that Ryan Howard hit a ball so hard that one could see a puff of rosin fly off the ball as it made contact with the bat. He showed (what I thought was inconclusive) video of the event in question. Mr. Simpson’s conclusion was that Mr. Howard is one heck of a hitter.
Couldn’t an alternate hypothesis be valid here, that the Braves pitcher had illegally dusted the ball with excess rosin?
I call bologna
In the “Cubs mailbag” on mlb.com, Carrie Muskat responded to a fan’s inquiry about the Wrigley Field out-of-town scoreboard. You see, in most ballparks the out-of-town scoreboard indicates each team’s pitcher-in-action by noting the pitcher’s uniform number. For example 39 CIN 3, 46 CHC 5 means that the Cubs lead the Reds 5-3; Cincinnati’s pitcher is #39 Aaron Harang, and the Cubs pitcher is #46 Ryan Dempster.
How is a fan supposed to know that #46 is Mr. Dempster? Two options: (1) Be obsessive enough to know the numbers of the league’s pitchers, or (2) buy a program, which helpfully lists each team’s pitchers by number.
Category (1) isn’t as farfetched as you might think. Fans who care enough to WANT to know who’s pitching might well know the numbers of at least pitchers who are important to them. For example, a fantasy baseball player might know the uniform numbers of the pitchers on his fantasy team. I certainly did when I used to play in a fantasy league.
A Cubs fan thus asked Ms. Muskat why the Wrigley scoreboard doesn’t identify pitchers by uniform number. Her response: “Wrigley's scoreboard uses numbers that coordinate with the program sold at the ballpark, and the pitchers are listed in alphabetical order. It's easier for the guys in the scoreboard to do it this way.”
Oh, I say! WHY, I ask, is it easier for guys in the scoreboard to identify pitchers alphabetically? Because they’re in the program alphabetically, of course. So, the scoreboard operators could print out mlb.com’s roster pages; or, the program could be printed by uniform number (as it is in every other ballpark I’ve bought a program in). Unless, that is, the Cubs are so desperately grubby that they are trying to create a situation in which serious fans find a need to buy an overpriced program…
Next Week...
The Nachoman runs out of the room in the middle of a physics demonstration to high-five his department chairman. It's just another instance of the Nachoman being the Nachoman.
[1] And yes, it is an APPEAL play when a runner fails to retouch a base on a caught batted ball.
[2] Here’s where I don’t get the logic. Does baseball want brawls or not? If the commissioner’s office doesn’t mind brawls, don’t publicly punish those involved. If the commissioner’s office wants to stamp out brawls for whatever reason, suspend Mr. Sexson for a month or two. Six games and a token fine just makes everyone angry without results.
[3] According to Wikipedia, this Aruba native was knighted in 2003 by the queen of the Netherlands. Good thing she didn’t wait until 2006 – keep reading.
[4] The AP English exam occurred on Wednesday. I’m celebrating.
[5] Once again, two of these pitchers each pitched to only one batter.
[6] This means you, Burrito Girl.
[7] If you’re not familiar with baseball jargon, a lefthanded pitcher gains a platoon advantage when he faces a lefthanded hitter.
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