Bowl Games, Bowl Games, Bowl Games

Having arrived in Florida but with Ump School still a day-and-a-half away, I can relax with the family in our hotel overlooking the beach. The La Playa “resort and suites” has been described on travel sites as more like the La Playa “dump with cramped rooms.” I don’t buy either description. Our room is small, with stained carpeting and a hole in the wall; however, it has working internet access, cable television, functional appliances, and a view of the beach. In one of the umpire memoirs that I read, the author describes his experience at the Jim Evans Umpire School in (probably) the mid-1960s: they stayed eight or more to an unairconditioned room with bunks. Thus, there will be NO complaints on this blog about the accommodations, even if I were to find an alligator in the toilet.

Anyway, today is what used to be the greatest day in college football. Do you remember the dark days of the 1980s when you could only watch one or two games each Saturday? Fans looked forward to New Year’s Day not only because of the great bowl matchups, but for the sheer multitude of available football. I would sit mesmerized, remote in hand, flipping from one game to the next every time a commercial showed up.

Now, of course, I can mesmerize myself every Saturday and Sunday from September through December. New Year’s Day games aren’t quite as special. But I’ll once again give some props to the BCS… possibly the second-most-exciting game of the year comes in tonight’s Sugar Bowl: Georgia vs. Hawaii. Here’s the chance of the little conference David to fight the SEC Goliath, just like Boise State challenging Oklahoma a year ago.

I’ve made contact with a gentleman named “Deno,” an Umpire School student who will arrive tonight. He and I, and whatever other early-arriving umpires we can scare up, will head across the street to the sports bar and grill with the absolutely friggin’ enormous high definition televisions to watch Georgia-Hawaii. I’ll be rootin’ for the Rainbows, I mean, the Warriors.[1] I’ll try to update the blog every day or two from here on out. But until I have actual umpire-related events to, um, relate, here’s a recap of last year’s David-vs.-Goliath bowl game, when Boise State took on Oklahoma.

The 2007 Fiesta Bowl was the best game of the last few years, one with a clear rooting interest (was anyone outside a 200 mile radius of Norman rooting for the Sooners?) and drama. Oh, boy, drama. Oklahoma came back from a humongous deficit in the late third quarter. They converted three two-point conversions. Boise State threw an interception with a minute left – returned for a touchdown, putting the Broncos down 7. They converted 4th and 15 on a hook-and-lateral which went for a tying touchdown. Oklahoma converted the first snap of overtime into a 25 yard Adrian Peterson touchdown. Boise State faced fourth down, and called a wide-receiver pass into the end-zone for a touchdown. Boise (properly) decided to go for two to win.

With the ball on the left hash, Boise lined up three receivers very wide. In a previous game, they had scored on a quick screen pass from this formation. Knowing that Oklahoma must have practiced their response to this play, Boise lined up early, practically begging Oklahoma to stack their defense to stop the screen pass. Sure enough, the quarterback took the snap, immediately threw right… but without the ball. The ball remained in his left hand, which he held behind his back for Ian Johnson to grab. Mr. Johnson paused a moment, then took the ball and ran untouched into the end zone behind a wall of linemen sealing the left edge.

Ian Johnson epilogue #1: You probably saw that Mr. Johnson proposed to his girlfriend, a Boise State cheerleader, after the game. Mr. Johnson had obtained a ring in preparation for his proposal. However, he left the ring in the hotel room – if the team lost, he reasoned, he could wait to propose so that the occasion would be a thoroughly joyous one; and if they won, the ring would be available for use upon the team’s return.

In the excitement of the immediate postgame, having just scored the winning touchdown and informed that he would be the subject of a national live interview on Fox in a minute or two, he impulsively decided that he would, in fact, pop the question. So, he called the future Mrs. Johnson[2] to be with him during the interview. The TV audience saw an excited, gentlemanly football player give a rather articulate interview with a cheerleader’s arms wrapped around his waist.

The interviewer just about blew it, though… after Mr. Johnson’s last comment, the interviewer said, “I know you’re going to propose to your girlfriend now.” Oops. I suppose it would have been nice for Mrs. Johnson to get the first word from her future husband… but to his credit, Mr. Johnson immediately got down on one knee and popped the question, to which the answer was “yes.” No pressure.

Ian Johnson epilogue #2: At the end of an interview the next day on ESPN,[3] the extremely well-spoken Mr. Johnson was asked about the inherent uncertainty of a marriage proposal. What if she had said no? Wouldn’t that have spoiled an otherwise perfect night? “Well, there were 20,000 Bronco fans right there watching,” he said. “If she had said no, I’m sure I could have found at least one of them to say yes.” Excellent response, sir. When your career is over, Mr. Johnson, you may want to try broadcasting.

[1] A decade or so ago, the University of Hawaii football team was called the “Rainbows,” and featured a drawing of a rainbow on their helmets. This was perceived as more wussy than the Houston Oilers’ pastel-blue jerseys, so they had some trouble recruiting. Now they are the “Warriors,” and do an awesome Polynesian war chant on the field before each game; their talent pool is much stronger now.
[2] Who, of course, did not yet know that she was the future Mrs. Johnson
[3] During which he told parts of the story which I here recount