Boy, is it frustrating to be without internet access.

Umpire School continues to move at a blistering pace. I’m managing to (barely) keep up, by practicing a whole, whole lot. Last night my plan was to watch another archived major league game, this time working the plate the whole way through. You see, by Monday we will begin batting cage work, in which we have to call live pitching for the first time. Sounds easy enough, right? If the pitch crosses the strike zone, call a strike; if not, call a ball.

But I just know I’m going to screw this up if I don’t practice. I’ve got to be sure not to lose track of the count. The mechanics of the “ball” call require voice but no movement. A swinging strike is called slightly differently from a called strike; a foul tip requires an additional mechanic. Check swings require enormous concentration. I have to watch the pitch all the way to the glove without moving my head in the slightest, and (this will probably be the tough part) without blinking.

An archived game would allow me to work on all of the above issues in the comfort of my hotel room. But, alas, the internet is not working right now… I feel unconnected to the world around me. I can’t even read Patrick Hruby’s “week in sports quiz,” nor set my fantasy football lineup without heading to the hotel lobby.

Thus, this is not a complete post. I hope to have more for you next week.

I think my computer has enough battery left for me to write this quick exchange with Eddie Hickox on the field today… the second baseman had bobbled a line drive, then thrown wild to first.

Mr. Hickox: Why was that runner awarded third base and not home? He had gone well past second base when the ball went out of play.

Nachoman: Because when the overthrow is the first play by an infielder, the award is two bases from the time of pitch, not from where the runners were at the time of the throw.

Mr. Hickox: But, that wasn’t the first play by the infielder. He tried to catch the line drive, didn’t he?

Nachoman: A play requires both possession by the fielder AND a bona fide attempt to retire a runner. The second baseman never had possession; and even if he did, just catching the ball is not considered a play. Thus the throw to first was the first play by an infielder.

Mr. Hickox: What are you, an attorney or somethin’?

Nachoman: No, sir, just a physics teacher…